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Wednesday, December 30, 2015

Christmas memory for the books...

Teenagers are a special breed. 
Humor. 
Creativity. 
Old enough to really do some stuff. 
Stuff that can be entertaining to boring old adults. 

They are also extremely hard to shop for sometimes. 
One particular teenager only wanted money and gift cards for Christmas. 

Ah gee... That is extremely fun to wrap says a mom.
  
Then a sister, decides it is very fun. 

With 5 kids and most too young to have jobs to earn money, 
I encouraged them to draw names many years ago.  
They have big hearts and want to shop for their siblings and this reduced some of the stress.  

So a certain sister drew her teenage older brother's name.  
Enlisted me to help, since she doesn't drive solo yet. 

The mission:  Collect as many gift card envelopes as possible. 
 Preferrably from girly stores. 
Since he wants gift cards or money, so be it. 
The next step... 15  ~ $1 bills.  
(The spending budget for the drawing was $15)
Each dollar tucked into an envelope.  
All of them in a gift bag.  


A few of the envelopes went missing.  
The best part was, 
he was with me the day I ran in and out of the doors to collect 
some of the envelopes! 
He drove me around and kept the car and the driver's seat warm for me! 


Tuesday, December 29, 2015

Treasured joys and memories from the Holiday Season





Gratitude leads to Joy
A truth, I hope my children allow to sink deep into their souls.



Love setting up the Nativity. 
A Christmas gift from my mom many years ago.


For the first time ever I have an angel for the top of my tree! 
She is beautiful. 
My children noticed her immediately, which surprised me greatly.
First words out of their mouths when they walked in the door,
"You got an angel!"
They knew I had been looking, but I never told them I found one. 



This journal ~ an unexpected gift that brought me to tears. 
An difficult day, a friend delivered a wrapped gift for now or later.
I tucked it away under the tree. 
She had no idea, this simple journal I had passed over time and time again. 
Always something else on the list that received priority. 
But God knew..
Oh, how the tears flowed on Christmas morning. 
God is in the details and timing and He loves us so.

Wednesday, December 9, 2015

Grading Giggles and Smiles for Mom ~ Homeschooling Moments

Grading this morning, this essay was in the pile.  Written by my son.  When I looked at the essay options, it was a no brainer.  He is a man of few words.  He clearly has his own set of priorities.  When it is important to him, he is always able to communicate very well.  Food has been and will always be on the top of his priorities list.  He has been interested in the kitchen since he was born.  Very in tune with the smells and aromas in the home and with a desire to sample and participate in family dinners long before he was able or even should sample table food, due to his preemie status.  What do you think?  I think it might, also, be hint to his momma, who is also his teacher... A dinner option sometimes soon, maybe?  

   Lasagna is one of my most favorite foods in part to the ease of preparation, the flavor, and the aroma. First of all, it is fairly easy to prepare. Then once in the oven and it begins to cook it has a marvelous aroma that fills the house. The smell seems to make it almost impossible to wait for it to come out of the oven. When it comes out, and you sit down to eat it is easy to savor every bite because of the amazing flavor of fresh herbs and spices as well as the melted cheese. Smell, taste, and ease of preparation are just a few reasons why lasagna is my favorite food.

Tuesday, December 8, 2015

Capable but slow!

As this year is ending, I can't help but be overwhelmed with gratitude for the way God directed my path.  Last holiday season, I learned of vision therapy services that could help.  No promises, just a maybe.
I have done a lot of testing over the last couple of months.  Initially when the testing started there were some pretty low scores.  My latest scores were a mixed bag of low and astonishingly high and improved.  
It isn't the numbers so much, but what the numbers reveal.  
These wonderfully kind people don't just focus on the numbers. 
So as we reviewed the scores, I heard and received the most encouraging words.  
These scores show, "You are capable, just slow."
I am slower, much slower than I used to be.  It is exceedingly frustrating.  But I am learning, trying to learn to be content.  But what did my heart good was to hear I was capable.  Sometimes in slowness, efficiency becomes an issue.  I have questioned what I have to offer if all the things I used to be good at, I am not good at anymore?   What can I do?  
Add on top of it all, that there is a divorce happening, all sorts of questions about self worth and acceptance and the future just roll around in one's heart, mind and soul.  

But this office of people, they are good and kind.  
They see the struggle.  
They can even measure it. 
They see potential and capability. 
They accept. 

My latest appointment was to announce, I have graduated.  I am moving into monthly appointments and then will be released from therapy!  I am "passing" where I need to improve.  I have to admit there was some anxiety, because even the vision issues are still variable.  Not as much, but still... So the doctor and I talked.  Variability, it is there to stay. I will have to do what I need to do to take care of myself and thus limit variability and then accept when life goes awry and adjust.  Maybe one day as the brain heals and develops new pathways there will be less variability.  But the anxiety was still there.  I asked him about our last conversation when he stated if I could reach a certain "percentage" then there would be a hope that  I would be "average in functioning".  Related to my concerns about divorce, eventually needing to work, medical prognosis of another doctor and just general concerns and worries.  If I am slow and not "good" at what I used to be "good" at then what?  Bless this man's heart... I believe God just entered the room that moment and spoke through him.  

"Knowing what I know about you, as an employer, I would expect it would take you longer to learn (train) things.  I would expect you might be more forgetful and need reminders and make more mistakes. If I didn't know any of this about you, I might not realize there was an underlying condition at all. I might wonder why you can't remember or why you keep making mistakes and why you haven't learned it yet, but I have experienced this with other people."  His compassion and kindness just overwhelmed me.  You see I have been asking these kind of questions for a while.  His words that he chose at that moment communicated acceptance and hope.  

Then the doctor took on a father/uncle type demeanor and gave me some firm advice and instructions about the future and different options I should look into and consider.  Then he provided me with details regarding therapy with speech and language pathologists that could benefit my vision and speech. (This bit of hope was so important, especially since my speech is a huge concern about what kind of job I can have when my speech is variable.)  Then he said, "Merry Christmas and see you at your next appointment!"

The demeanors of my care providers are unique and greatly varied.  While all of them are honest, some are more able to present facts in a way truth is acknowledged but encouragement and hope is also offered.