Boundaries.... Just a little aha moment in the learning process

Epiphany moment.  

In light of recent events. 

I have come to experience these words used in a very ugly way. 

Sometimes people throw these words around because they are uncomfortable 

with the consequences of their own actions. 

They are trying to use these words to turn responsiblity and blame onto the other person. 

So on this particular day as boundaries are being worked out and implemented. 

A day when someone is angry and very upset. 

A day when the fingers are pointing back at me. 

A day when I am reminding myself, I have done nothing wrong.
A day when this quote popping up on my screen could have me in tears...

Second guessing myself 

Wondering if I am not being loving enough?
Wondering if I am not being Jesus-y enough?
Before the thoughts could start, a different set started rolling... 

Amen and Praise Jesus, because healing is happening!!! 

When and if this ever happens it is important to remember:

God extends me grace. 

God forgives me. 

God loves me. 

God holds me responsible for my actions. 

God doesn't take the blame for my actions. 

Yes, Jesus died for me. 

He died so I didn't have to. 

He took on the consequences of my sin. 

But He is not responsible of my actions, my sin. 

God doesn't say He should have loved me more. 

God doesn't say He should have said it differently. 

God doesn't wonder if He could have been anything different for our relationship to be better.

He is God. 

He loves me.

He forgives me. 

He waits patiently for me. 

He created me with free will. 

He lets me make my mess. 

He lets me have my tantrum if I so choose. 

He doesn't take undo responsibility. 

So when I consider how I treat other people in the light of 

how God treats me. 

I need to reflect on the whole picture. 

Not just the part of Jesus up on the cross. 

Because Jesus did die on that cross. 

But Scripture is very clear. 

Forgiveness has been taken care of... 

but the responsibility, the burden on the offender is:

Humble oneself. 

Confess. 

(Take responsibility)

Repent and turn away.

(Sin no more.. stop doing the hurtful thing.) 

Seek forgiveness.

Accept the forgiveness.

Seek reconciliation. 

Love one another as Jesus loves, but loving others is not being a doormat. 

God loves AND is not a doormat.
Jesus loves AND is not a doormat.  

So sometimes responding to the other person as God would looks like: 

Repeating truth and placing responsibility back where it belongs.
Holding one's head up and embracing the day.
Not second guessing oneself.
Understanding the loving thing is standing in the truth. 

The truth of personal responsibility. 

Loving doesn't mean shaming.
But it doesn't mean sweeping it under the carpet and pretending it didn't happen either. 

Loving sometimes means letting the person live with the personal shame 

and embarrassement of their tantrum, so maybe one day there can be 

personal growth. 

Is it fun? Nope.  Is it pretty?  Nope. 

But to not let the natural consequences occur, 

only prevents/delays the personal growth from ever occuring.  

I don't ever want to be someone's Tylenol.
The mask, the tool, the drug

 that makes them feel personally better so appropriate action is not taken 

for true healing and recovery to happen.