Things I am learning: Boundaries

I shared here and here what I have been learning about judgements, discernment and If God's word is True, then how does it apply to this...

Sometimes, as we begin to work on things with God and seek Him, bigger things get revealed.
Change often has a ripple effect.
Sometimes those ripples end up feeling like a tsunami.
The waves created can be overwhelming.

Being sinful beings, we all have some bad habits.  Sometimes we like to do the comparison game and say, well this behavior isn't this... or everyone does it....  Maybe so, but it doesn't make it a good habit.  Just sometimes our bad habits are more easily acceptable because to not accept it in another, means then maybe we would have to do something about it in our personal life and well that gets a little uncomfortable.  If someone actually has the crazy notion to start making changes in their life, well then it just gets uncomfortable sometimes to be around them.  Conflict increases.  Next thing you know, this ripple effect is like the decision to clean a rug.  You lift and roll the carpet up to take it outside and you end up seeing all the dust, debris and dirt underneath and maybe some of the flooring is rotting and needs replacing.  That little project just became an expensive remodel.

Much to be grateful for

This weekend's harvest.  My youngest likes to run and check the garden.  Last night he brought me a handful of tomatoes.  Today as I chatted on the phone for a few minutes, I picked what I could hold in my other hand and in my skirt.  Skirts and Aprons are so handy!  

This week:

Things I am learning: If I am not to judge then what...

I have been in a season of hard.
Hard seasons can result in some serious growth and learning though.
As I began to search out things in Scripture and learn one new thing it often resulted in the following question: "If I believe this is true, then... what about this?  How does it apply here?"

As I shared here, I was seeking out what does it mean to judge.  "Judge not" was something I was hearing a lot of and it was confusing because as I said we all make judgments every day.  Into this word family of "Judge" we could add, assumptions and jumping to conclusions.  Everyday we use our experiences, knowledge, perceptions to make decisions.  We wake up, we look outside to see if the sun is out or is it gray, cloudy and rainy.  Then we decide what to wear or our mode of transportation.  We evaluate countenances, expressions, the presence of tears or smiles, the inflection of a voice, loudness of a voice, to make decisions.  We make judgments about relationships, is this relationship good for me?  When this is done, it hurts, I don't like it...  So how did all this mesh, because if I believe God's word is true and He doesn't contradict Himself, then how does all of this work together?

Things I am learning : Judge not

Matthew 7:1-2  Do not judge so that you will not be judged. 2“For in the way you judge, you will be judged; and by your standard of measure, it will be measured to you.

 That simple statement gets quoted and misquoted so much.  It makes me cringe to hear it.  But what does judge/judging mean?

Life seemed so black and white when I was oh.so.much.younger.  There was right and there was wrong.  As the years passed and I added experience upon experience, the quotes and proverbs and Proverbs began to take on a meaning much deeper.  

I have learned:

Only God can see our hearts. Only God can truly KNOW our motives.  Sometimes even we can be blinded by our motives.  We can package them up and they look good.  It is so important to ask, what is my motive?  What is it that I hope to accomplish by...
Jeremiah puts it well, chapter 17 verse 9
"The heart is more deceitful than all else And is desperately sick; Who can understand it?  

and

"None of us can stand other people having the same faults as ourselves." (Oscar Wilde)

"it is easier to see other people's faults—than our own." (J.R. Miller)

Counting my blessings

Things yellow:

"wild" sunflower in my vegetable garden 

cherry tomatoes (yellow variety) ripening 

the gardens full of  Black Eyed Susans throughout the city..they just make me smile! 

sunny, hot days and trips down the lazy river at the pool (getting to chat with my oldest son)

clearance flowers (again) ~ they make all of us smile

new friends

repaired steps 

health

gardens being reclaimed after several years of neglect and the lessons being learned...

Things curled: 

my hair, after years of stick straight, my hair has become curly/wavy naturally!

the sweaty locks of boys

children curled up reading books

random blessings to add:
Kindhearted man behind the counter at the ice cream place.  His friendliness and chattiness changed the tempo of my day and my heart.
Lazy kitties that are at a loss due to rain, don't want to be in, don't want to be out.
Worms, fish hooks, unexpected company on the dock, good conversation, laughter and smiles
Sometimes honesty reveals critical natures that sting, other times unexpected grace and tenderness is experienced,
Hugs
Hugs
Hugs
Can't say enough about hugs, they are a blessing
Thunderstorms
Wild pumpkins sprouting from the compost bin! Seeds that escaped last year and have managed to produce a beautiful orange pumpkin almost ready for the picking.

I scream, You scream, we all Scream for Ice Cream! ! ! National Ice Cream Day!

Tomorrow is National Ice Cream Day!  In my area there are these deals going on ! ! ! Brunch, Lunch, Snack, Dinner, Snack,  Got it covered!  

Moments I want to remember and treasure

Getting this guy to read and like it, well I was close to giving up.  I love to read!  Love it.  As a parent with 5 children, I have learned children are fearfully and wonderfully made.  They are unique individuals and a passion for reading is not always passed on to our children.  I endeavor to teach them how to ask questions, how to seek out answers and to desire to keep learning.  I have also wanted them to love delving into a story on pages so deeply, they just don't want to put the book down.  I want them to prefer paper and ink over a remote and brightly colored lights and noise.  This summer, I listed off a series of chores and activities to be done each day.  Chores for the home and self care.  Reading for the soul (Bible time).  Reading for the mind and creativity.  An artistic pursuit, to explore personal creativity.  Until all of these are done, none of them can ask me what we are going to do or if we can go do this or that.  Blessed peace in the morning for a few hours each day!  

New interestes have surfaced as a result.  

It wasn't until I told this kiddo about the Summer Bookit Challenge did he become driven to read. Something about being entered into a drawing for pizza gift cards inspired him.  What he didn't expect was to enjoy reading!  He read and read and read.  He got caught up in the stories.  He was so excited when he finished reading Peter Pan.  My prayer now is that this love for reading continues beyond this summer's challenge.  

This summer we are learning new habits

IThis summer has been full of new things.
Learning to shop CVS and make use of ECB.
Learning to live under new family dynamics.
Learning to create new habits.
New habits has been a huge one.
It is challenging and demanding of time, energy and thoughts.
This is my first summer vacation in 13 years.
Yep, 13 years!

Smiley360 and a Free Sample of EmergenC

I signed up with Smiley360 a few months ago.
We have had fun in our home with the process of being product testers for Smiley360.
Smiley360 selects individuals to try out various products.  No cost involved on my part.  They only require we share on social media our thoughts and opinions about the products we have received.
Earlier in the year, we tried out Sleep Number.
Currently, I am trying out EmergenZZZ.

Living frugally with a desire to give and bless others

I am an extreme couponer to a degree.

My kids joke I should be on the tv show. 

I shake my head in disagreement. 

My motivation is different and my methods are scattered and disorganized. 

I love the deals. 

There is a thrill in the savings and getting much for paying little.

It would be easy for it to go to far, to have more than could be used and dates come and go and things expire and have to be discarded. 

For me though, there is blessing in the couponing and deal seeking. 

Maybe a little justification for the internal thrill and adrenaline boost as well, just being honest. 

I want to give.  I want to give generously.  I want to give good gifts and bless those around me.

Yet, financially that is not always feasible.

Weeding gardens and hearts

Today, I tried to write about the journey my kids and I have been on this summer.
I just couldn't simplify and structure my thoughts.
So full has been this summer.  Full of lessons, growth and change.
The most distinctive and tangible example we have had is the week I declared we were going to pull weeds.

Big Boys Don't Cry

I love hanging out all day with my kids.
I never know what will get asked or discussed.
My kids have amazing hearts, thoughts and ideas.
This morning I am listening to Rich Mullins on my phone.
Growing Young (Songs 2 album) was on.
My youngest suddenly asked, "Did he just say "Big boys don't cry?"  Cause that is a lie!
Love this boy!
I said you are right.
Big boys do cry sometimes, but it used to be a common thought that was taught to boys.
He was incredulous.
Him: That is impossible.  Everyone cries.  Babies cry all the time.
Me: Yes, but that is why they say big boys.
Him:  Still impossible, because everyone cries at least 4 times when they are big! At least once as a baby, once as a kid, once as a teenager and once as an adult.  People cry when they get sad or hurt.

My heart is full.  So grateful for the fact, my sons are not growing under this teaching.  So grateful this son is confident in who he is and feels free to express himself openly.

Grateful for these moments to talk about lyrics, life and personal insights with my 9 year old!

Free Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream with Saving Star

This was in my email this afternoon!  Happy Dance!! 

Saving Star is an app I have loaded on my phone.  It is a couponing/rebate site.  You can load digital coupons that communicate with store loyalty cards.  If the stores you frequent don't have an agreement with Saving Star, you can load receipts and scan barcodes to receive credit for the products you buy.  

Since it is summer and I love ice cream!! (as well as test of the family) I am looking forward to redeeming this offer as soon as possible.  

Ebates!

Ebates is an online shopping rebate site.
Create an account.
Whenever you are shopping online, go to the Ebates website and search for your store.
If your store has a relationship with Ebates, you may receive cash back, by clicking through the Ebates link to the store's website.  Why not save (and earn) while doing something you are already doing?

Lowes Build and Grow classes

We took a few years off from doing the kids classes at the local home improvement stores.  This summer though, I looked into them again for my younger men.  My youngest has enthusiastically embraced these classes. This summer, at Lowes, the kits are Marvel's Avengers characters and vehicles.

So far he has made the Avenjet (Ironman), the motorcycle (Captain America) and the Skycycle (Black Widow).  Multiple times a week he checks in with me on the dates and whether he has been registered.  Class sizes are limited and fill up quickly.  I set alarms so I can get him signed up early.  I am enjoying this time with him. 

This weekend: 

Shoe Shopping ~ Savings and Sanity Survival for us

With a whole bunch of kiddos, shoe shopping can quickly become NOT FUN! It can, also, be very expensive.  Now my kiddos are getting bigger, and several are in the adult sizes, which means clearance and sale prices are just not the same as they used to be when they were little.  Sports, running and just general hardness on their footwear, I have, also, learned brand and quality do matter.

Some things I consider:

1. If the current style worked well, meaning it held up, was comfortable and just met the need, I search online to see if the "line" is still available.  I can sometimes get away with this for a time or two, depending on age and tastes.  Often the color choices are different.  This is a bonus because then, they still feel like they are getting something different.

2.  Is anyone else, getting close to needing new shoes?  Is a new sports season coming up?  Most of my kids have a standard "growth schedule".  Certain months of the year, they tend to spurt.  Is anyone eating more than normal?  I try to look ahead and save on shipping this way, many times earning free shipping.

3. Not all my kids NEED to get new shoes at the same time. If I shop the online clearance, I won't always spend enough to get free shipping.  I have learned a lot of stores will match online stores and if the shoe (even clearance) is not in stock, they will order it for you and not charge shipping.  So if the store isn't super out of the way and costing me more in gas, it is worth it to run to the store with my print out or screen shot of what I found online.  I try to go right away, because the ease of shopping online can mean things sell out really quick.

4.  Before I do option 3, I do a quick cost analysis.  I check to see what discounts are available on Swagbucks, RetailMeNot, and Ebates.  I also consider what shipping is going to cost.  As a military family, we are sometimes able to get a military discounts at stores.  This isn't always possible online. I, also, check Ibotta and see if there are any rebate offers.

5.  If I am close to a minimum amount to receive a discount, for instance $10 off 60 or $20 off $100.  Maybe my total is $50 or $80.  I will shop and find something to fill in.  If I am going to get that extra $10 or $20 off, I might as well think ahead.  Is there anything I can get and put away for birthday or Christmas?  What about socks?  Socks are always needed! So "finishing" off my "minimum" sometimes means making my future gift shopping easier.  Essentially these socks are free if they are just finishing off my "minimum".  Who doesn't like "free" birthday or Christmas gifts?

(If you have multiple kids close in feet size this might help you out: The last few years we have started blessing the kids with name brand socks for Christmas.  One gets "brand A" in black, another "brand A" in white, "brand B" in black, etc.  It was survival.  NOT one person in the house likes to match socks and it was getting impossible to know which socks belonged to who. The matching game was a huge headache.  Some didn't care and would wear whatever, stretching out or putting holes in, others did care and could never find their socks, or their socks were "ruined".  The sock wars needed a resolution. By assigning a brand and color, matching and identifying the owner was simplified! Another bonus, is these name brand socks are lasting longer.)

(Some links are referral links.  I may receive rewards or compensation from these referral links if you sign up through them.)

Swagbucks!

Today I logged into my email and found this:

Oh happy day!  My current goal is to earn enough swagbucks each month that I can get a $25 gift card.  I was a couple of days into July before that happened.  I don't know when I set that goal in June, so maybe I was within a month.  At some point, I made my deadline the end of the month.  So I am working at it this month and we will see how I do.  Sure made me smiler bigger than ever to get this email today! 

If you aren't familiar with Swagbucks, you can sign up here.  (that is my referral link..there are bonuses for getting people to sign up through your link.)  

I earn most of my Swagbucks through redeeming coupons. I print coupons through their site.  

However, I do keep an eye out for when there are swagcodes and work with the kids in getting them entered into my computer. Sometimes I am away from home and get an alert on my phone.  They enjoy the benefits of gift cards so they are usually very helpful when it comes to getting these swagcodes entered.  Love having children enjoy thriftiness.  

I also earn swagbucks through the referral program.  

My kiddos enjoy watching the cooking videos and zoo animal videos.  That helps in earning swagbucks each day.  

I do various activities as time allows, including the daily poll, daily crave and NOSO under the daily To Do list. 

Of course, I use Swagbucks as my search engine and earn swagbucks by searching.  You are not likely to earn with every internet search you make, however, I do earn something every day.  I find myself wanting to shout "Swagbucks" like some people shout "Bingo" when the pop-up appears on my screen. To be honest, sometimes I do!  

Earning the 2200-2500 a month does take some intentional work, but it doesn't add much to my day. I just look at it as part of my "job" each day.  Stretch my dollars, save and put aside for the special things. 

(Some links are referral links.  I may receive rewards or compensation from these referral links if you sign up through them.)

Groupon Deal for Glow Golf, additional 20% off.

Groupon is a great way to save on all sorts of activities.  If you haven't heard or tried it, you can sign up here.

My kids were recently chatting about wanting to go mini golfing and then we drove by this play advertising Glow Golf.  Well that got them talking it up even more.  So I have been super excited about the email I received this week.  Today, I finally had time to sit down and get caught up on all the "to-do's" at my computer.

The happy bonus is today when I logged on, there is an offer for 20% off of Groupon purchases (limitations and exclusions do exist).  However, the 20% applied to this offer.  BONUS!! Code for the 20% off is :  HAPPY20

My kids know their momma is frugal.  Free is the name of the game we play often.  We do like the occassional splurge and this fit in the budget this week!
Hopefully it will help someone else out. :)

(Some links are referral links.  I may receive rewards or compensation from these referral links if you sign up through them.)

Thankfulness and Counting Joy

I have come to find that no day is complete without counting the gifts God has blessed me with throughout the day. 

I have a planner I made and the front cover is the Joy Dare Missions.  In my planner, I have weekly sheets for menu planning..something I still need to get better at, but at the bottom I keep track of my blessings.  I tally them up, preferably throughout the week, sometimes I have to backtrack a few weeks.  Nothing helps me more through this difficult season of life than finding the gifts God is blessing me with beyond the "basics"...food, children, home, clothes, health... Training myself to keep looking deep and hard for the gifts all around me.  It also trains me to take my focus of the now and immediate and close to heart.  When I shift my focus, I can look forward and upward and train my eyes and heart to see things maybe a little more like my Heavenly Father sees them.

If you are struggling, I challenge you to jump in right where you are at and begin to count your gifts.

This week:

Gifts in the Challenge:  Learning in God how strong I can be with Him holding my hand.
Gifts in the Conflict:  Silence unexpected that is unnerving and disquieting...and then realizing, the same silence is an answered prayer, a gift from my Heavenly Father and then being able to exhale and rest in Him.
Gifts in Change:  So much change ~ We are creating new habits, better habits.  Learning to be more of who I am in God without worry and with more acceptance.  Changing thought patterns and speech patterns.
3 Gifts in Water:
Children who wisely choose to drink water over sugary drinks.
Evening at the lake learning to fish.
Peace found in listening to the waves gently reach out and touch the shore.

Walmart Savings!

Did you know that Walmart Price Matches?

I did.

But did you know that Walmart Price Matches produce in the grocery department?!?

I do now.
The last several weeks life has been hectic and my normal schedule has been disrupted and going to the military commissary has not been a feasible option.  It is a 20 minute drive for us one way and is something I tend to tack onto a day with appointments closer to the base.  While 20 minutes doesn't seem that long to some, it is a chunk of time and when life is full 40 minutes for a round trip doesn't work well, especially when there are 6 Dillons and Walmarts all within 10 minutes of your home and one of those surely aligns with one of the many routes taken throughout the week.

So this past month I have been taking in the Aldi's and Dillon's ad into Wal-mart and learning the ropes of price matching produce and pairing up with the rebates on my phone apps.  Life is changing and this option is so encouraging in this season of so much change and busy-ness.  To be able to stay closer to home and shop and save money is a luxury I could not imagine but my Heavenly Father knew and is teaching me.  I am so grateful for all the ways He shows me in my quest to be a good steward of the funds He provides my family.

The produce has to be packaged similarly and similar in type.  Red grapes - Red grapes.  4 pack corn cob in packaging, has to be pre-packed, can't be in the shuck yourself bin.  Red delicious apples - Red delicious apples and so forth.  Mango-Mango.  Oh what fun it can be!  Turned into a treasure hunt of matching up and comparing the price, because the store ads don't always show the same items.  My kids are super motivated because they are all big produce eaters.  I think it is their favorite aisle, maybe second only to the meat department or the ice cream freezer section.

My other discovery has been the Wal-mart app for my phone.  There is a tab within the app called "savings catcher".  I just scan the code at the bottom of my receipt and within a few days I find out if there were better prices elsewhere.  Walmart actually scans and compares for me.  If there was a better price, I am "refunded" the difference.  I can load the difference onto a gift card to use.  So when life gets hectic, I don't have to franticly worry about chasing the best deal down all over town.  Price Matching and Savings Catcher is helping me save, save and stay in budget.

Casting a line....Catching more than fish...

The summer has been cooler than expected. The temps are a good 20-30 degrees lower than expected for July.

For us that means weather that Grandpa can get out and go fishing.  

Incredibly grateful for a cool summer evening that even requires layers and jeans, for warmth and protection from mosquitos and ticks.

The joy in being the first to catch! 

The excitement this sweet Princess exhibited when she learned of this option.  She quickly ditched her "social" plans for the quietness of the lake.  

Willing to go off for a bit by himself to see how the waters are over "there."  I admire his strength and willingness to do something "different" and go a different direction than others. 

A wiggly and constant in motion one, slows down and is actually stilled.  Suprisingly, but oh what Joy this mother had in watching him grow up years in just a few hours.  

Ever so grateful for this night, this summer, this year with my father.  Life and health may have slowed him down a bit more than he cares, but sometimes that slowing down brings about a different pace that is good and healing.

The hands that have tied many a hook and threaded many a worm.

Hands that now teach all of us the tricks he has learned over the course of 62 years of fishing!

I traveled back in time to almost 30 years ago, to a heart broken girl who came home and was discouraged and embarrassed.  There were no words that could comfort.  He did the only thing he could, he took that girl fishing.  After a few hours and several trout on the line, grief and tears were replaced with smiles, confidence and joy.  Time, quietness and alone with the father, sometimes, that is all we need. My Heavenly Father and I meet often, but my sweetest moments are when I am in His creation, stilled and away from the noise of life.  My mom met with Him on all her many walks and hikes away from the rush of life.  Many Sundays were spent quietly worshiping Him and with Him alone on a mountainside as she hiked and climbed.  I know of others that spend their time along the waters of a lake, river, on a bike and experience the solitude on a path with wind in their face.  Breathing deep and disconnecting from the frantic pace of life and technology.  So grateful for the chance to share that with my children this week.

Starting Over

This has been a year of relearning.

There are lots of things I have had to relearn how to do.   Occasionally, something comes along and I find there is yet another thing I need to relearn.  It is a good thing I like to learn.

It can get a little overwhelming at times.

My relearn/redo list includes:

Learning to create and follow routines, plan and organize.

Learning to budget, coupon and deal hunt again.

Learning to cook again.

Learning to pace myself.

Learning to Faithfully Lean into my Heavenly Father 24/7.

Learning to read more “efficiently” and smoothly.

Learning to respect the signs my body gives me that it is time to take a break, (part of pacing myself).

Learning to speak up and share what is “going on” so others can be of help.  So I can receive the assistance I need and get answers. 

Learning to swim again.

Learning to give up a life of multi-tasking.

Learning to accept my “new” self and not compare to what I was before.

It isn’t so much relearning from scratch, because I can pull up memories of doing these things.  It is learning how to do them in my present “condition.”  I use to be able to multi task in a big way. Not so much anymore.  If I try to do anything while cooking, well it is best to get the fire extinguisher out, find the bowls, because we are having cereal.  I am fortunate if I am able to wash dishes while in the kitchen cooking dinner.  Whatever, you do, don’t engage me in conversation, I will forget there is anything cooking, until the smoke detector goes off.   It isn’t uncommon for me to face a “new” situation and just be blank.  Fortunately, most things get repeated through life and I have enough life experience, I just ask myself to think about how I used to do it.  From there I try to move forward.

So as I learn to embrace this new life I am encountering, I am starting a new blog. 

Hopefully some of the things I am learning and rediscovering will be of help to others along the way.  

Favorite Money Saving/Earning Apps

I have been learning how to make my Smart Phone earn its place in my life!

     Ibotta ~ a rebate app.  Shop as you normally do, submit a picture of your receipt, confirm purchase of items by sometimes scanning the barcode.  I have earned rebates on greeting cards, Christmas presents, groceries and clothing.  It is a great way to replenish the grocery budget.  Plus there are bonuses that can be earned and each month, I use my bonuses to add to my emergency fund!  **

Checkout51 ~ a rebate app.  Shop for your groceries as you normally do, confirm your purchases to earn.  

Snap ~ a rebate app.  Shop as you normally do, confirm your purchases to earn.  **

 Saving Star ~ a coupon app

Cartwheel ~ load discounts to be used in Target stores. 

 Starbucks ~ I load my gift cards on to make paying easier.  The BEST part is earning the stars per drink.  12 stars and I get a free drink!  Yum!  Plus, if I buy when they are offering promos, I may earn extra stars per drink.  Just one way I splurge and save in the process.  

  Shop and earn.  Complete special activities and earn, I won't be a millionaire at the end of the year, but little steps through out the year and I earn enough to put some breathing room in the budget. **

  I scan my receipts.  The savings catcher checks to see if there is a better deal elsewhere and pays me the difference!  

SHOPKICK   Earn for shopping as usual.  In my first month, I earned 3 gift cards!!  I am not sure if that will be the norm for me, but was exciting nonetheless! **

 ~ rebate app.  Would you like to receive a Lindt chocolate bar… for FREE?!? Just download Shopmium on your iPhone or Android and sign up with my referral code KUKCUUFW **

 Shrink ~ a rebate app.  Earn money and/or points.  **

 Great app for price comparison and looking up the area ads.  Opportunities to earn money as well.  Recently there were rebate/cash back offers made available for buying hot dogs, and another for purchasing a dozen eggs.  

Load receipts and earn points that can be redeemed for cash/gift cards.  Plus, if you use this referral code, we’ll both get extra spins at the Hog Slots when you submit your first receipt: tud99013  **


Onavo extend  An app that helps maximize the amount of data I have each month.  With all this shopping and saving, it helps to keep me on track with my data usage.

My data manager  Another app that helps me keep track of data usage.


** If you feel inclined, please sign up through my links.  I receive referral incentives for sharing the news.  **