Earasers!!

They came!  They fit!!
I discovered these over a year ago and they were a game changer.
I have issues with my auditory processing as the result of a car accident/concussion.
Too much noise and I struggle.
Struggle. A. Lot.
After joining a few online groups and discovering I was not alone in this, someone mentioned giving these a try.
Game changer.  My kids have noticed a huge improvement.
I am back to experiencing more of life.

I orginally bought size small but sometime late last year, they were not fitting me well.  They seemed to go a bit deeper in my ear.  Something seemed off.  It took me a while to just sit down and order new ones.  I took a chance and ordered the next size up and what a difference! The fit is better.  When the fit is better so is the noise blocking capabilities.  

Hearing and speech update....

Last week, I posted here about my journey in addressing my speech issues and auditory processing issues.
I passed the hearing tests with flying colors.
No suprise there.
This week though, I did the auditory processing testing.
A whole other story.
My first two tests I do okay on.
The sweet lady who did my testing told me at that point, she was thinking, wow she is doing good, maybe we don't have a problem.
That quickly changed when the third test started and then the fourth was done.
She looked at me and said "You are suprised are you?"
Yes and no.
At the time, I felt like I hadn't "missed" enough on the test for anyone to see there was a problem.
I anticipated needing to miss a lot of answers for there to be a problem to be acknowledged.
So my suprise was the fact they did see the problem.
Apparantly, there is not a whole lot of room for error on these tests.

Checking out my hearing and speech... new stuff on the horizon!

I am so super excited!
Just before the holidays, I received a recommendation to contact a speech center here in town.
They aren't very well known, at least to my medical providers.
A frustration all within itself.  But I keep reminding myself God's timing is perfect and to trust in His timing.

Today, my first appointment.
I had spoken to them on the phone.
Kind people.  Compassionate people.
Again no promises.
Vision therapy has gone as far as it can for now.
My vision issues can continue to get better on their own and I have exercises to continue and one more follow up appointment.
However, I am still slow and the thought is it is an issue with processing.
I have testing results that concur.
So... I called.
Because insurance is the way it is.
They must have tests to prove I can hear and I don't have a hearing problem, that is what we did today.
Perfectly good hearing!  In all the normal ranges.

One of the best parts about today, is what I would normally shed tears over.
Life has been rough the last couple of weeks.  Worn down and exhausted, by the time I was called for testing, my speech was declining and just short of a train wreck.
God's timing is perfect.  He knew how life was going to roll.  He knew I would struggle.
He provided the perfect opening in the schedules for this appointment to happen.
Those doing my hearing tests heard my speech.
The speech specialist I spoke to on the phone came by to introduce herself.
She was able to hear my speech.
The best part was no one was alarmed or upset.
They weren't frustrated or angry.
They didn't talk down to me.
Didn't get frustrated.
They were kind and interested and encouraging.
What triggers?  What helps?
Explaining, I live life in such a way to minimize issues as much as possible, but I can't prevent sick kids, crazy upside down days or weeks or noisy stores.
It was so good to have my speech problems in a setting where I just might be able to find help.

Something New and Old and Precious.. Much to be grateful for!

I tried something new!
Not necessarily new new, but new to me since the accident!
So incredibly proud of myself.

The singles group at church had a bowling night.
I don't do too well in loud and noisy places.
But with my Ear-asers, I can normally enjoy myself for a little longer.
These ear plugs are amazing!

Before going, I had already decided I would just hang out and visit and cheer everyone on.
I had had a leisurely morning, but the afternoon, early evening hours had been challenging.
So off I went.
I just wasn't prepared with a sudden burst o discontent.
I wanted to "play," I didn't want to just sit and watch.
When I found out I could pay for just one game...
I decided what did I have to lose if I couldn't finish?
Then I was like, what if I fall?
What do I have to lose? My pride...
Well, I have lost that pretty much already.. so why not!
With a quick prayer that I wouldn't fall and encouragement from friends...
I bowled.

I did it!
8 frames in, I was tired.

Another week with more good news and progress being made!

Another week, another therapy session and more evaluating done.
This time I completed 4 timed activities.
Improvements on all 4!
Oh joy of joys.
Especially, since I went in tired and struggling.
The very first one, my eyes and brain were struggling it out.  It was hard work.  The frustrating thing is I know the "old me" wouldn't have struggled or thought it was hard at all.  At first there was a concern about doing it on a day when I felt "off."  But I wanted to know how I would do on a bad or semi-bad day, not just on a good day.
So we proceeded.
That first "test."  I improved my score.  I really improved my score.
I struggled through it.  I was able to explain to her what was hard and she referenced other test scores and said it completely made sense.  Regardless, I improved.  Significantly, amazingly, exceedingly beyond imagination improvement.  I could only smile and cup my hands over my tears.  The joy.  The inner fist pumping in my heart.  Tears not yet spilling.  My therapist was ecstatic she could not wait to score my efforts.  It was a "see how much you can do in this many minutes" evaluation... I doubled my efforts!  Huge!
So onto the next 3 evaluations.  They involved reading aloud.  Immediately, I knew it went better.  Even though I could tell my eyes were working hard, I wasn't struggling to read aloud (say the numbers) as I have in the past.  Speaking can be such a challenge sometimes.  I knew my times had improved.  I will get my scores next week.  My times were fast enough to get me on the chart my therapist believed.  I have been less than 1% each time tested but with faster times.  It looks like, I have made it to the "Top 100" chart this week.  May not be passing yet, but improving.  I will take it and celebrate it.  Looking forward to next week.
I started writing down times to refer to on days when I am feeling discouraged.  Just a reminder things are moving along in the right direction.
My therapist was concerned to tell me that I wasn't "passing" yet.

More good news ~

After my last post about test results, I worked up my courage to share with my therapists.  I told them how much I appreciated hearing the test results and having them compared to when I started.  I told them I had been struggling with discouragement and just wondering how things were going.  Even though I had a few tangible "new" abilities it is sometimes difficult to notice improvements when the changes occur gradually.
Bless her beautiful heart, she told me she just had another client tell her the same thing and she took her through her chart and showed her the improvements.
So we sped through the process of getting my next week planned out and she opened the notebook.

Just that day, I did a task I had not done in months.  When I first attempted it, I was far from passing. Last Tuesday, I was still not passing, but I was so much closer that the idea of passing is conceivable!
Over and over again she showed me my initial scores.  They were so low.  She showed me over and over how I improved.  My first week few weeks she told me they had to make so many modifications to just the basic exercises.  She had never experienced a need to do this in all her years working in vision therapy.  Never.  Last Tuesday, they gave me an exercise typically given to clients who are exiting the weekly appointment routine and moving forward into more independent work.  Tears.  Good tears.  I may not "see" what is happening, but it is happening.

She ended the appointment with the news I will be going through a lot more testing soon.  More good news to come.

This is incredibly encouraging.  I am entering winter again.  I have not had a winter season since the accident where I felt confident in how I process things visually. Christmas lights, dark earlier in the day.  I am hopeful and cautious. I know only time will tell.  For now, I celebrate that in my peripheral vision, I can see doorknobs and recognize them.  As I type here, I can see the lamp to my left and clearly make out its lines and I can see the pillow to my right and make out the lines in the pattern.  Fatigue is always a factor and it is early in this day.  For this moment though I rejoice in these things!

I did the week's homework and what had me groaning in the office last week has been a confidence booster as I have experienced the exercises becoming somewhat easier.  

Grateful seems such a small word for the fullness I fill in my heart.

When the blank after Projected Outcome is left blank...

Earlier this year, found me in  a doctor's office.  Going through more tests.  More evaluations. Trying to not get my hopes up.  

Oh, the twists and turns which had brought me to that moment in that chair.  Listening to the medical providers explain test results.   In the process of explaining, they verbalized what I was experiencing and couldn't explain. They did it so beautifully. The relief that I felt.  The joy. The comfort. And oh the tears that flowed later.  To be known.  To be understood. To not have to explain.  Just a taste of what it is like with God, my Father.  He loves me, He understands. I don't have to have words.  He knows.  For a brief moment, while I sat in that chair, I experienced a comfort and peace in knowing He was leading and providing for me.

So when all the explaining was done, what to do about the problem needed to be talked about.  They had a plan.  There were things that could be done.  BUT..
But... I am pretty used to the word but...

But in my case they could offer no guarantees.  When a brain is injured and damaged, there are no guarantees.  The brain is a mystery.  Damaged parts stay damaged. New pathways have to be created.  How those pathways form or if they would form was a question no one could answer or predict.  They would be willing to work with me.  They had worked with a number of people who had suffered brain injuries and strokes. They were familiar with the struggles. They had experienced success stories.  They just couldn't offer a projected outcome.

Grateful for Medical Advancements and Technology

Had the most amazing experience today.  

Technology can be so amazing and helpful.  

One of my kiddos is a patient of Children's Mercy in Kansas City.
We have been blessed to not NEED to travel back and forth since his initial appointments.  We have been able to do lab work and follow ups via phone and just see his primary physician for appointments.
Several months back though during one of our routine phone follow-ups I was informed we need to have an actual in-office visit to preserve our status as active patient.  Otherwise, we would need to go through the whole inital new patient process.  UGH.  A 3+ hour drive one way.  A day of missed school and so forth...  Of course, this kiddo thought this was a great idea because after a long drive there is the usual attempt to do something fun.  When we were going back and forth certain fun spots were added to the day to reward good behavior and being a great trooper.  Life is different now and a little bit more complicated.
I was intrigrued when we were offered the opportunity to take part in their telehealth program.  To do so, would mean we would need to meet sooner than later.  Certain staffing changes were anticipated and they didn't have all their new plans in place.  Our appointment was scheduled for November and then they had even more changes and we were told we needed to move things up a month or risk needing to make the long drive.  Put it that way....we moved life all around.

And it was completely worth it.
It was the most amazing experience ever.
There was the occassional delay in audio transmission but other than that it went as smooth as an in person visit.  We had a nursing staff that did the routine check in process.  Our medical provider was even able to listen to my kiddo's heart.  She wore special headphones and her support person on our end, moved the stethescope around as needed as she listened to heart and lungs.  Then there was a really cool camera used for looking into his mouth, etc.  Paperwork I brought with us, was quickly shared and available to the doctor on the other end.  To say the least I was just in awe of how far technology comes.  I can imagine how much this service could be used to help so many people world wide.  It was amazing.
Since that initial phone call, a lot of things have been arranged.  Things are falling into place for this service to continue to be provided.
Ever so grateful is this momma for the updates and advances to technology that is available.