Hearing and speech update....

Last week, I posted here about my journey in addressing my speech issues and auditory processing issues.
I passed the hearing tests with flying colors.
No suprise there.
This week though, I did the auditory processing testing.
A whole other story.
My first two tests I do okay on.
The sweet lady who did my testing told me at that point, she was thinking, wow she is doing good, maybe we don't have a problem.
That quickly changed when the third test started and then the fourth was done.
She looked at me and said "You are suprised are you?"
Yes and no.
At the time, I felt like I hadn't "missed" enough on the test for anyone to see there was a problem.
I anticipated needing to miss a lot of answers for there to be a problem to be acknowledged.
So my suprise was the fact they did see the problem.
Apparantly, there is not a whole lot of room for error on these tests.



I learned an interesting trivia fact about hearing.  Grace is extended to the left ear in testing.  The left ear matures at a slower rate than the right ear.  However, this is not a consideration for my left ear because of my age.  It should be mature by now!

So now we wait for the official write up of the test results.  For them to be reviewed.  Then the phone call to schedule a follow up to discuss possible options for the future.

The excitement that comes with hope and affirmation of the struggle. It has been a long 3 years to get to this point.

Speech has been a struggle this week and there has been some bumps to go along with it, but the shame and embarrassment is becoming a memory.

For the first time, I sat in a doctor's office (not for myself, but a child) and was not shamed by the doctor or staff for my speech struggles.  (I know!  Hard to imagine, but I have experienced some pretty cruel words from medical providers.  It is lack of knowledge and experience, but it still hurts.) These medical providers, just kept telling me I was doing great and they could understand what I was saying.  A combination of writing and speaking.  It is frustrating when I can't make the words come out.  Especially when I am thinking in complete fluent sentences and my speech is a far cry from my thoughts.  So pleased to see the comfort level being demonstrated and the kindness and graciousness.  Especially in front of my child(ren).  I know it helped letting the receptionist know and asking her to give the doc/staff a head's up.  Even still, their response could have been different.

Chances are there will never be a "cure" for me.  However, I hope to build up a tolerance level to brain fatigue and sensory overload that my speech is less of an issue more and more.  I would like it to not "control" my life as much as it does.  There is so much I avoid or limit so I don't "overdo" and struggle to communicate as a result.  But there is a whole lot of living that doesn't happen with that much avoidance and limiting.  For now, God and I are creating a new life filled with a new supportive community of people who don't care if my speech is perfect one minute and broken the next.  They are able to roll with it and even able to laugh with me on occassion about it.

Yes, laugh about it.  I have been asked about my "accent".  Where I am from... "A place called Aphasia."  The looks I get.  The question that follows, "Where is that?" I follow up with a quick explanation.  The other night, I asked my daughter if my speech embarrassed her.  She said no, but I know it can be hard to be a teenager and have things that are different... I asked if her friends ever ask, she said,  "No, they just realize everyone has something."  True.  So glad she is developing relationships with people who are accepting and open minded to differences. The next thing I know I was saying,  "Well if they ever ask, you could always say, 'She is an actress and practicing for a new role.'" Oh, how we laughed.  Some days, the words that come out are so comical and if I start stuttering NO or SO, we can't but help have some fun with it.  Sometimes the syllable I get stuck on creates quite the stir in the conversation, especially with the kids. Sometimes it is the crazy words I say.  Just don't know where they come from, not one bit.  So yes, we laugh.  And we enjoy today and look forward to the future!