What I am learning!! Fish Fry!!

My youngest daughter, who isn't all that little anymore. She is 14, sniff, sniff...

For her birthday, she wanted fish.  This summer she discovered she liked fish.  The real kind.  Not the fish that comes in a stick in a box in the freezer section.  I bought some on sale tilapia one day and fixed it for dinner and she just about fell out of her seat because she liked it so much.  She was only eating it because she was hungry and it was dinner... So she was astounded that she liked fish.

We have been fishing this summer, and we weren't sure if there would be enough so we supplemented from the grocery store...   Catfish, Tilapia and whatever else we had caught.
I pulled out the cookbook, found a breading recipe and jumped in with both feet.
I didn't stop there, but I determined I would learn how to make hush puppies.

It was a success!  I didn't burn anything.  Hush Puppies were gobbled up.  I received a generous compliment from the Grandpa regarding Hush Puppies.  I wasn't expecting much my first time round.  I had never filled a pot with oil before and fried anything.  So my biggest concern is I would ruin dinner and eating out would be the story.  

If only, you knew the struggles I have had with cooking over the last year.  This was a feather in my hat success.  I even cooked some potatoes wedges and onion rings/slices for my girl.  The kids were astounded...real french fries!  

3 hours later... everyone was full, happy and ready to lounge...  

Success and Happiness all around. 

(pictures courtesy of my daughter... I was too busy cooking and they were eating it as soon as it was being set on the plate)

Avengers..Build and Grow at Lowes

He did it!  We did it!  All 6...
It started with just checking out the website.. There was so much enjoyment...and then the discovery that it was the theme for the summer. The 2 of us every couple of weeks...headed to Lowes.
So proud of all the efforts of my youngest young man.  He learned much and did a great job!

God is a gentleman

So I am reworking this post...
Cause that is what happens sometimes after I post and then I am taking my morning shower.
I get so much chat time with God and thinking done in the shower....

This past fall I kept hearing the same sentence over and over.. God is a gentleman.
I started thinking on it.  I had never thought of God as a Gentleman.  If God is a Gentleman... what does that look like?  Cause He isn't opening the car door for me.. He opens doors, but not the ones that are physical and attached to a building or a car.
So into my journey of examining God's character and what makes God a Gentleman.

Rewind several years, well maybe 16 or 17 years...
In parenting, I became intentional.  I longed to be able to teach my kids "rules" of life NOT because "I said so, but because God said so". I wanted to be able to direct them to His Word, to Him.

I discovered this company, Doorposts and their tools became invaluable.  You see I have this memory:

When I was a teenager, during one of the years my family never walked into a church, I picked up my Bible and started reading.  I was shocked and astounded.  Right there between the pages of Genesis and Revelations were instructions on how to behave. It was one of those years where law and the Constitution was being studied.  I had just no idea that the Bible was where it first happened.  I just thought all these rules of childhood were something parents created.  This discovery started a longing in my heart to know God's Word better.  

A few years into parenting, I wanted my children to know the principles we live by were created by God for our good.  Not for some selfish parental/adult reason to make life better.  

Now back in the present... I have been on a discovery journey of God's character.  Knowing who He is, but not being able to support it.  If God is a gentleman, then what does this look like.  I had read my Bible through one lens... what is it that I am suppose to be learning?  Now I started reading it through another lens, what does this say about God, His Character and The Kind of God He is?  This past year though, as I study His Word, I will come across a glorious and beautiful truth and then He will follow up that truth with this whisper to my heart..."This is another example of my character, of who I am and who I desire you to be."  It is easy to list of examples of good character. But that isn't enough for me.. I want to know where it is in Scripture. and He is showing me.  On this day, this verse jumped out at me as I worked through my Bible study book, Breathe:

And I started writing in my book.  

God waited.

Patiently waited 

6 days, 

He waited for the seventh day. 

He had an appointment, the Sabbath.  

He waited. 

He let them tend to life. 

But the time came and He called Moses.  

God was always there.  Present.  But not greedy of time and demanding more time.

Not selfish or self seeking wanting more time 

He was willing to wait.

He instructs us to seek Him.  To pray in all things.  To keep Him Lord and worship nothing else.  He is balanced and selfish and selfless. He calls us to work.  He calls us to rest.  He knows that as humans there are things we must tend.  We must eat.  We must care for others.  If He gives us these instructions, He recognizes it means our attention will inevitably be diverted from Him. He doesn't get jealous or demanding or impatient.  He awaits for the time He set aside for us to be with Him fully focused, Sabbath.  He doesn't even force us to show up to the appointment... free will... 

Feeling blessed that as I learn and grow in other areas, He doesn't forget this desire of mine to have Biblical evidence of His character.  He just keeps whispering to my heart..

Sara Lee Manager's Special... Blessing my kids just feels so Amazingly Good.. Great Price while supplies last!

Feeling, oh so blessed!  

We were out of bread and lunch was coming up.  

So after I dropped my son off at work I stopped here: 

I discovered: Bagels for $1.00

and Raisin Bread for $1

I couldn't help but stock up the freezer.  Going to the store can be a chore.
But I have kids that love Bagels.
They even had Blueberry.
I have a kid that loves Blueberry anything.  

The bakery prices always beat the grocery store prices. 

But this was amazing!  

Feeling blessed that I can bless my children with something they love

for breakfast and snacks! 

What big claws/nails you have!

Thanks to Art for Kids Hub... My guy discovered Origami yesterday!  Here is where he learned to make these:  

He was so excited about Origami, I told him we had a book and Origami paper somewhere.... 

Found it!  

He has been hard at work and using the book along with the paper!  

We have had this on our bookshelves for years.  Maybe even 13 years.
It is from our Five in A Row  years... 

I am just tickled it is getting loved and used thoroughly all these years later. 

I destroyed our fairy forest!

This morning I discovered the little bitty "caps" of white had grown!  

I know enough about fungi to know they grow because of rain, temperatures and soil condition.  

I don't know what these are specifically, I just knew they needed to go!  

Some were larger than my hands and my feet!  

I could not help but imagine I was destroying a fairy town or community! 

It was the easiest "gardening" work I have done in a while.  

Dinner adventures

Just Can't Reveal Names here.  

But there are people in this home that have a thing about food.  They LOVE it.  It is a critically important aspect of their life.  To get specific, meat is especially important.  So right on top of that list is STEAK.  

So when presented with a steak option for dinner, the best way to cook it around here is unanimously on the grill.  I have been relearning a lot around here this past year. 

One of the things, noone is to quick to "allow" me to learn is to grill.  

Grilling requires "babysitting"  and "attention"

My ability to stay focused is somewhat challenged,
 since the accident and the cooking adventures I have experienced,
while comical, have left my children protective of the grill.
 
The risk of my getting distracted and burning something is great.  

So our resident "STEAK" lover, (worship-er) volunteered to grill.  

Unfortunately, the cook, had not grilled steak before.  A 5 minute break was taken to run inside.

Been Creative? Art for Kids Hub

Last year or the year before, this poster idea was floating around on facebook.  I have some really awesome friends that peruse pinterest and then they share the gems!  I am truly grateful for their efforts.

Last summer I duplicated this for my home!

This year, I borrowed the concept and "assigned" specific elements as part of daily chores.  The rule was do not ask me for anything or to go anywhere until these 12 things are done each day!  Each child's list looked a little different depending on age. The goal was to carve out about 3 hours for myself.  They could self direct and I could work somewhat uninterrupted.  For "Be Creative" I found on Money Saving Money a free calendar link for art for June.  Sent the link to my daughter to help direct her brothers.  She likes all sorts of things artsy!  Again my goal was to be able to work uninterrupted for a few hours.

Laughing with Aphasia

Laughing at/with myself.
I have minor aphasia issues related to a brain injury from a car accident 2.5 years ago.
This past year has been a journey of learning about deficits, impairments and acceptance.  Acceptance being the hardest part.
 
However, there are times you can choose to cry or laugh.  Today has been a long day.  Good but long.  I was visiting with my daughter and I was trying to tell her to hold that thought, I needed to go to the:
"Bladder Room"
aka the Bathroom

I can think the word and the wrong thing comes out and sometimes I just can't thing of the word and the next best thing gets said!  Oh my Goodness... I said "Bladder Room."  I knew it wasn't correct but I just couldn't for the life of me think of the room.

So I followed up with, "that isn't the right word, but I can't  figure it out"  Chuckles..  So the kids start listing off alternatives:  Bathroom, Powder Room, Restroom, Potty, the Loo, the Little Boys Room, the Little Girls Room...

I am so glad they can laugh with me.

So then I asked them to remember some of my other funny "sayings."

Chocolate Spray Paint ~ Chalk board Spray Paint  (mis-heard and repeated)

"The Boy"  "The Girl" ~ When I can't remember names or just literally can't make my mouth work to say the names... Sometimes followed up with hand motions to indicate size.

The "BOX"  ~ microwave

Sometimes I have to describe things like the refrigerator.  "The cold thing....box"

I once wanted a Pepsi and couldn't say anything, all I could do is make a slurp sound with my lips.. I need a **slurp slurp sound.**  That resulted in a 30 thing guessing game.  Straw, water, cup, and on and on...

It can be frustrating, but it can be completely hysterical.  Sometimes, it is best to laugh.

5 Down, One to Go ~ Lowes Build and Grow

This summer, my youngest and I have taken on the challenge of completing the Avenger Series at Lowes Build and Grow.  I posted earlier in the summer here.

We just completed the 5th session out of 6 being offered.  We missed session 4, because I did not log in soon enough.  We were extremely blessed though when we showed up this past weekend and learned they had a bunch of extra kits.  I don't even know how the conversation.  It just happened.  God knows, becuase I believe he cares about this guy.  He cares about his interests and likes.  So on week 5, we were able to build project number 4 and 5.  He is doing great!  He is learning a lot of valuable "life skills" in problem solving and working through a challenge.

My Amazon box came!

Thanks to Swagbucks I was able to order these two books, plus a stocking stuffer last week for nothing out of pocket! (I, also, ordered a copy of Breathe for a friend. In case you do the math and wonder how I managed to get free shipping.) Woohoo.

Filling an hour...

In July, there was no more Wednesday night activities at church.  Just for the month.  Each Wednesday it rained.  The day cooled off.  I know this not because I chart the weather.  But each Wednesday as the temps dropped, we headed to the lake to fish with my dad.  He just can't be out in the heat.  He is on oxygen and hot temperatures make it extremely difficult to breathe, even on oxygen.  The church schedule has resumed and the rain and/or cooler temperatures continue on Wednesdasy.  It has left me in the quandry.  Attend church and build relationships with others, which is much needed or spend time with Grandpa at the lake.  

Grandpa had other plans tenatively.  So we went to church.  Afterwards, I just wanted to be outside.  To just be away.  So I asked the kids, would an hour be enough.  Could you be satisfied with an hour, fish or no fish... ?  It was unanimous.  Grandpa isn't a go for an hour kind of fisherman.  We called him up and told him the plan.  He hesitated and then responded with, "Oh, why not?"  
I started the timer, but then was told it wasn't fair... start the timer once the lines are ready.  I laughed and said, if I delayed there would be incredible dilly dallying... more laughter. But I did stop the timer.  Silly me. Because I forgot to start when this girl had the
first line in...

Hard Hearts, God, Bible, Divorce and Legalism

I am not a pastor, theologian or preacher by any means. I am someone who has been camping out with God a lot more than usual these days asking God some really tough questions. Sometimes experience is the best teacher.

 
If I believe Your Word is True...
If I believe You, God, are who You say You are...
If I believe everything I have taught my children is true...
Then how does it all apply to this moment..these moments in my life right now.

This moment, these moments are in the midst of a difficult marriage, difficult life experiences. 

Good Morning notes! I never expected this one...

Before bed, I asked if "the deliquents" (the kitties) were home inside. Only one.  Oreo likes all nighters.  If he manages to escapes, we don't see him till breakfast.  

A late night trip to the bathroom, there was scratching at the door.  

Girls... They can do anything!! They are girly girly girly through and through!

We hear terms like tomboy, girly girl all the time.  I have 2 girls and 3 boys.  Plus, get this, I am a girl!  My interests are varied and abundant.  Guess what? so are the interests of all my kids!  All of us, we cross the gender lines all the time.  ALL.THE.TIME.
So I don't care much for Tomboy.
Because if you are a girl, you are a girl.  You are girly through and through.  You are a girly girl.  You are allowed to like glitter or not.  You can like pink or blue.  You can like getting in the dirt or wearing white and staying spotless.  You are a girl no matter what.  I love the fact that my girls and I are okay with getting dirty and definitely okay with getting all prettied and fancied up.  We are even allowed to change our mind depending on the moment.  This very moment, I don't feel like sweating or getting dirty and that is okay!  In an hour, I could possibly change my mind just as easily as changing my clothes.  That is life.  There is a time and place for everything!  !  !

Frankly, that is the story for anyone. Boys included. Learning to like variety and try new things and not being fearful of different leads to an adventure-filled fun life.  Seasons change as do opportunities and all you really have is this very present moment.  Best part of all this variety, is we don't know what the future will hold.  We don't know if we will parent all boys or all girls or have both.  As a parent, you gotta meet those blessings right where they are at and embrace the moments.  Variety and varied interests makes you a better friend, parent, family member.

This girl.  I love her dearly!
She has always been a mix of everything.  She likes glitter, lace, flowers, mud, dirt, sports, being active, crocheting, and drawing.  She embraces "contradiction" in styles.  She is exuberant.  I should not have been surprised when she volunteered to learn how to clean fish!
But she did.
Not only that, she stayed up to a crazy hour cleaning fish with her Grandpa!!
Meanwhile, I closed my eyes and listened to their voices, so exhausted I could not follow their conversation but stayed just awake enough to know they were still working.

She baits her own hook, takes the fish off, and then cleans them!
And does it with nail polish on her fingers.
She is ever so grateful this is a profile photo...because she is a girl after all and hadn't had a chance to clean up first. ;)

I took these while she was "teaching" me how to clean fish.

The evening's catch.  Some went to the freezer whole to become bait.  The rest she and Grandpa cleaned and put away for dinner in the future! 

Smiley 360... Try things for free!

Smiley360!  A site that I enjoy checking out occassionally.  They provide opportunities to try products for free.  Complete simple surveys to see if you are a good candidate and then watch your mail.  Try the products for free and share your opinion on social media.  Simple as that!  

 

Swagbucks! Another Gift Card in my Inbox !!

Just received my email with my $25 E-Gift Card tonight!!  Loving Swagbucks ! 

Currently, each month you can redeem 2200 Swagbucks for your first $25 e-gift card each month. Usually each $25 gift card is worth 2500 SBs or Swagbucks.  My goal each month currently is to earn enough Swagbucks/SBs to redeem one of theses gift cards every month for the remainder of the year!  2 months down!! 

I wrote more about Swagbucks here. 

Just a little bit more about me....

I started off somewhat anonymously this blog.
Fear and anxiety these days are a part of my life almost as much getting up and taking a shower and brushing my teeth.

Online there is some anonymity. Yet, I can't disappear from those who know me completely.  I don't really want to either.  However, this season is difficult.  I am having to rediscover myself in some areas, reinvent myself in others and discover my "new" self and it is all happening at the same time.  I am slowly re-gaining self confidence and acceptance of where I am at today.  Yesterday was yesterday, tomorrow is tomorrow, but today at this given moment, this is where I am at and this is what I am able to do and that is okay.

Some might know me from my other blog, Beach Gardens. Currently, it is just too difficult, to post there.  Maybe one day, I will return.  I do love my Beach Gardens part of my life.  It is very much a part of me but for now, I am hear at Faithfully Leaning and Counting, because while I have leaned into God over the years, I am leaning even more heavily on Him than I have ever before.  And I am counting...counting the blessings He bestows on my daily and hourly.  Focusing on His blessings is what keeps me going and reminds me this moment, this pain and suffering is just for a season and He does love me.  He does care for me.  He does see me.  He is there.  So I keep on counting.  I count pennies.  Lots and lots of pennies, because every dollar starts with a penny and as my dad says, every pound starts with an ounce.

So this is me.  This is where I am at in life today.

My days with Young Living

I start each morning with all of these. 

Hearts in the clouds

I was driving to church with my kiddos, a week ago, as I approached a stop light and just had to take this picture.  It was a rough morning.  Silently pouring out my aching heart to God as I got ready for the day.  Music playing in the car because sometimes the only way to keep going is to pour into my surroundings praises to my Heavenly Father.  I look up, there is this gap in the clouds, heart shaped.  My heart soared.  As I turned at the light and kept on going, there was another and another heart in the clouds, but I was driving so no pictures were taken.  I casually mentioned the first to the kids in the car, then the next one and then they each saw one of their own.  Sometimes my Father God just amazes me in His expression of His love for me/us.  So many hearts everywhere we looked.  On a morning I wrestled out my grief and feelings of rejection and reminding myself just how much my God loves me.  For those few moments, I no longer had to remind myself...because He was showing me.  Sometimes He does things like draw pictures in the clouds...  He doodles hearts like a teenager but His doodling is on such a grander scale.  I am so glad He chose to make a big impression, one that would be harder to miss.  I am ever so grateful for looking back on my phone at pictures.  Such a beautiful reminder today!

Free Coconut Oil...while supplies last! (after cash back)

Over at Money Saving Mom's Blog, I discovered how to get this:



for free!

This is my referral link  for signing up with TOPCASHBACK.
This offer is only for new-sign ups.  I did some reading, they defined a new sign up with TopCashBack was someone who has never completed an offer.  I signed up a few months back to look into an offer that was available but it wasn't doable for my location.  So, yeah for me, cause I can take advantage of this offer!

I think it would be possible to sign up through my link with TopCashBack and then follow the links over at MoneySavingMom to get the deal...because that is how I completed my order.  There are bonuses for referring friends.  TOPCASHBACK offers $10 cashback for referrals.  So I would be tickled if you used my link!  Then forward this offer onto your friends and family.  Offer is good only while supplies last.

Today's Joy and Anticipation of things to come

I love to record the happy and smile inducing... This blog is as much for me as it is for my children. Snippets of memories and things to think on and remember..I hope they will learn to seek and find joy in even the smallest things.  To seek to see God and the many gifts He blesses us with each day instead of overlooking them and brushing them off as inconsequential.

The colors in this skirt just make me so happy!  I found it at a resale shop but it was too big.  On closer inspection I realized it had a simple waistband and seams.  I was able to take it in.
The colors just make me happy!



Rose of Sharon blossoms...they just keep blooming... all summer long!
I know where to find flowers, when I need to just see some in the yard.



more from the garden!  I can't wait to show my girl...

Things I am learning:

Psalm 146:3-5
Do not trust in princes,
In mortal man, in whom there is no salvation.
His spirit departs, he returns to the earth;
In that very day his thoughts perish.
How blessed is he whose help is the God of Jacob,
Whose hope is in the Lord his God,

On my phone I scheduled these reminders:

• "Don't put trust in mortals, in them there is no salvation"
• "Happy are those whose help is God"
• "Whose hope is in the Lord" PS146:5