Christmas memory for the books...

Teenagers are a special breed. 

Humor. 

Creativity. 

Old enough to really do some stuff. 

Stuff that can be entertaining to boring old adults. 

They are also extremely hard to shop for sometimes. 

One particular teenager only wanted money and gift cards for Christmas. 

Ah gee... That is extremely fun to wrap says a mom.

  

Then a sister, decides it is very fun. 

With 5 kids and most too young to have jobs to earn money, 

I encouraged them to draw names many years ago.  

They have big hearts and want to shop for their siblings and this reduced some of the stress.  

So a certain sister drew her teenage older brother's name.  

Enlisted me to help, since she doesn't drive solo yet. 

The mission:  Collect as many gift card envelopes as possible. 

 Preferrably from girly stores. 

Since he wants gift cards or money, so be it. 

The next step... 15  ~ $1 bills.  

(The spending budget for the drawing was $15)

Each dollar tucked into an envelope.  

All of them in a gift bag.  

A few of the envelopes went missing.  

The best part was, 

he was with me the day I ran in and out of the doors to collect 

some of the envelopes! 

He drove me around and kept the car and the driver's seat warm for me! 

Treasured joys and memories from the Holiday Season

Gratitude leads to Joy

A truth, I hope my children allow to sink deep into their souls.

Love setting up the Nativity. 

A Christmas gift from my mom many years ago.

For the first time ever I have an angel for the top of my tree! 

She is beautiful. 

My children noticed her immediately, which surprised me greatly.

First words out of their mouths when they walked in the door,

"You got an angel!"

They knew I had been looking, but I never told them I found one. 

This journal ~ an unexpected gift that brought me to tears. 
An difficult day, a friend delivered a wrapped gift for now or later.
I tucked it away under the tree. 

She had no idea, this simple journal I had passed over time and time again. 
Always something else on the list that received priority. 

But God knew..

Oh, how the tears flowed on Christmas morning. 

God is in the details and timing and He loves us so.

Grading Giggles and Smiles for Mom ~ Homeschooling Moments

Grading this morning, this essay was in the pile.  Written by my son.  When I looked at the essay options, it was a no brainer.  He is a man of few words.  He clearly has his own set of priorities.  When it is important to him, he is always able to communicate very well.  Food has been and will always be on the top of his priorities list.  He has been interested in the kitchen since he was born.  Very in tune with the smells and aromas in the home and with a desire to sample and participate in family dinners long before he was able or even should sample table food, due to his preemie status.  What do you think?  I think it might, also, be hint to his momma, who is also his teacher... A dinner option sometimes soon, maybe?  

   Lasagna is one of my most favorite foods in part to the ease of preparation, the flavor, and the aroma. First of all, it is fairly easy to prepare. Then once in the oven and it begins to cook it has a marvelous aroma that fills the house. The smell seems to make it almost impossible to wait for it to come out of the oven. When it comes out, and you sit down to eat it is easy to savor every bite because of the amazing flavor of fresh herbs and spices as well as the melted cheese. Smell, taste, and ease of preparation are just a few reasons why lasagna is my favorite food.

Capable but slow!

As this year is ending, I can't help but be overwhelmed with gratitude for the way God directed my path.  Last holiday season, I learned of vision therapy services that could help.  No promises, just a maybe.

I have done a lot of testing over the last couple of months.  Initially when the testing started there were some pretty low scores.  My latest scores were a mixed bag of low and astonishingly high and improved.  

It isn't the numbers so much, but what the numbers reveal.  

These wonderfully kind people don't just focus on the numbers. 

So as we reviewed the scores, I heard and received the most encouraging words.  

These scores show, "You are capable, just slow."

I am slower, much slower than I used to be.  It is exceedingly frustrating.  But I am learning, trying to learn to be content.  But what did my heart good was to hear I was capable.  Sometimes in slowness, efficiency becomes an issue.  I have questioned what I have to offer if all the things I used to be good at, I am not good at anymore?   What can I do?  

Add on top of it all, that there is a divorce happening, all sorts of questions about self worth and acceptance and the future just roll around in one's heart, mind and soul.  

But this office of people, they are good and kind.  

They see the struggle.  

They can even measure it. 

They see potential and capability. 

They accept. 

My latest appointment was to announce, I have graduated.  I am moving into monthly appointments and then will be released from therapy!  I am "passing" where I need to improve.  I have to admit there was some anxiety, because even the vision issues are still variable.  Not as much, but still... So the doctor and I talked.  Variability, it is there to stay. I will have to do what I need to do to take care of myself and thus limit variability and then accept when life goes awry and adjust.  Maybe one day as the brain heals and develops new pathways there will be less variability.  But the anxiety was still there.  I asked him about our last conversation when he stated if I could reach a certain "percentage" then there would be a hope that  I would be "average in functioning".  Related to my concerns about divorce, eventually needing to work, medical prognosis of another doctor and just general concerns and worries.  If I am slow and not "good" at what I used to be "good" at then what?  Bless this man's heart... I believe God just entered the room that moment and spoke through him.  

"Knowing what I know about you, as an employer, I would expect it would take you longer to learn (train) things.  I would expect you might be more forgetful and need reminders and make more mistakes. If I didn't know any of this about you, I might not realize there was an underlying condition at all. I might wonder why you can't remember or why you keep making mistakes and why you haven't learned it yet, but I have experienced this with other people."  His compassion and kindness just overwhelmed me.  You see I have been asking these kind of questions for a while.  His words that he chose at that moment communicated acceptance and hope.  

Then the doctor took on a father/uncle type demeanor and gave me some firm advice and instructions about the future and different options I should look into and consider.  Then he provided me with details regarding therapy with speech and language pathologists that could benefit my vision and speech. (This bit of hope was so important, especially since my speech is a huge concern about what kind of job I can have when my speech is variable.)  Then he said, "Merry Christmas and see you at your next appointment!"

The demeanors of my care providers are unique and greatly varied.  While all of them are honest, some are more able to present facts in a way truth is acknowledged but encouragement and hope is also offered.  

Another week with more good news and progress being made!

Another week, another therapy session and more evaluating done.
This time I completed 4 timed activities.
Improvements on all 4!
Oh joy of joys.
Especially, since I went in tired and struggling.
The very first one, my eyes and brain were struggling it out.  It was hard work.  The frustrating thing is I know the "old me" wouldn't have struggled or thought it was hard at all.  At first there was a concern about doing it on a day when I felt "off."  But I wanted to know how I would do on a bad or semi-bad day, not just on a good day.
So we proceeded.
That first "test."  I improved my score.  I really improved my score.
I struggled through it.  I was able to explain to her what was hard and she referenced other test scores and said it completely made sense.  Regardless, I improved.  Significantly, amazingly, exceedingly beyond imagination improvement.  I could only smile and cup my hands over my tears.  The joy.  The inner fist pumping in my heart.  Tears not yet spilling.  My therapist was ecstatic she could not wait to score my efforts.  It was a "see how much you can do in this many minutes" evaluation... I doubled my efforts!  Huge!
So onto the next 3 evaluations.  They involved reading aloud.  Immediately, I knew it went better.  Even though I could tell my eyes were working hard, I wasn't struggling to read aloud (say the numbers) as I have in the past.  Speaking can be such a challenge sometimes.  I knew my times had improved.  I will get my scores next week.  My times were fast enough to get me on the chart my therapist believed.  I have been less than 1% each time tested but with faster times.  It looks like, I have made it to the "Top 100" chart this week.  May not be passing yet, but improving.  I will take it and celebrate it.  Looking forward to next week.
I started writing down times to refer to on days when I am feeling discouraged.  Just a reminder things are moving along in the right direction.
My therapist was concerned to tell me that I wasn't "passing" yet.

A little bit of kitty love in the sunshine and gentle reminders from God...

This guy;

speaks to my heart so much sometimes. 

We laugh when we say he is emotionally constipated.  And when we say he is an emotional eater.  

He is quirky.  And aren't we all? 

He has his own emotional need issues, and don't we all?  

Counting joy and reflecting on the past week

I have been reflecting on my accomplishments this past week.

I traveled this weekend with my kids.  I had minimal bumps along the way.  The kids have been great.  They have been walking this road with me and learning right along with me.  As time passes, there are fewer and smaller bumps.

We have all learned to respect my limitations and live with "pacing" ourselves/me.  That means the trip was "quieter" than past trips.  Relaxing.  If I overdo, then I am down for who knows how long.  We have been learning to say no for the short term so in the long term and big picture it is only a little no, and more yeses.  (For instance, I may need to say no to a 30 minute run to the store, so I can rest.  Rested means I will be able "to do" the next 4 hours.)  It is frustrating.  I like being able 'to do'.  I remind myself regularly though it doesn't hurt the kids to hear "no,"and to do without.  "No" sometimes teaches creativity, contentment, compassion, and consideration.

Along with traveling, we were able to visit and connect with old friends/acquaintances.  Life just has a way of happening and interfering with moments to just sit and visit.  Or if you are a kid, to run and play and be silly with other kids. .

I managed to cook dinner Sunday with minimal intervention and help from them.  Their help was only needed because I was up to my wrists in bread dough and then I cut myself.  In spite of it all, dinner was made in 35 minutes.  This is huge in our house.  I have done a lot of relearning in the last year.  Cooking has been an issue but it is getting easier.  Monday night, I had another dinner success and score in the kitchen!!  So incredibly grateful for the Holy Spirit prompts and nudges that help me get through each day.

Laundry is caught up.  The dryer issues have all been resolved.

The dishwasher issues are almost completed.

Winterizing projects for the house are underway!

School lessons are getting done.  Some of the lessons are definitely God orchestrated because there is no other way to explain how they perfectly tie into what is happening in our own little personal world.  God is just so amazingly gentle and kind, going before us in this manner.

There is a plan for the remaining house chores.

More good news ~

After my last post about test results, I worked up my courage to share with my therapists.  I told them how much I appreciated hearing the test results and having them compared to when I started.  I told them I had been struggling with discouragement and just wondering how things were going.  Even though I had a few tangible "new" abilities it is sometimes difficult to notice improvements when the changes occur gradually.
Bless her beautiful heart, she told me she just had another client tell her the same thing and she took her through her chart and showed her the improvements.
So we sped through the process of getting my next week planned out and she opened the notebook.

Just that day, I did a task I had not done in months.  When I first attempted it, I was far from passing. Last Tuesday, I was still not passing, but I was so much closer that the idea of passing is conceivable!
Over and over again she showed me my initial scores.  They were so low.  She showed me over and over how I improved.  My first week few weeks she told me they had to make so many modifications to just the basic exercises.  She had never experienced a need to do this in all her years working in vision therapy.  Never.  Last Tuesday, they gave me an exercise typically given to clients who are exiting the weekly appointment routine and moving forward into more independent work.  Tears.  Good tears.  I may not "see" what is happening, but it is happening.

She ended the appointment with the news I will be going through a lot more testing soon.  More good news to come.

This is incredibly encouraging.  I am entering winter again.  I have not had a winter season since the accident where I felt confident in how I process things visually. Christmas lights, dark earlier in the day.  I am hopeful and cautious. I know only time will tell.  For now, I celebrate that in my peripheral vision, I can see doorknobs and recognize them.  As I type here, I can see the lamp to my left and clearly make out its lines and I can see the pillow to my right and make out the lines in the pattern.  Fatigue is always a factor and it is early in this day.  For this moment though I rejoice in these things!

I did the week's homework and what had me groaning in the office last week has been a confidence booster as I have experienced the exercises becoming somewhat easier.  

Grateful seems such a small word for the fullness I fill in my heart.

He silences the winds, calms the storms and pours out His peace

I have been dreading this week for some time.  Knowing it was coming has brought on tears, anxiety, doubt, frustration and anger.
I have hated every minute of it.
Scripture tells us to not worry about tomorrow because today has enough.
TRUTH right there.
But, I have learned:
the opposite of worry is preparation.
Worry can leave a person paralyzed in fear and what ifs.
Stopping to ask what is the worst that can happen?  What can I do to change the ending? Do I want to be a victim of circumstances or do I want to roll with the punches and make some choices?

Most days, I have been so busy I just can't even think about tomorrow because it is taking everything I have to get through this hour, this day. Most days passed and I never gave a second thought to this present week.
There were "other" days with moments that I let myself think. process. ponder. talk to God about this coming week.  There have been the days were my thoughts were uncontrolled and worry & anxiety took over.  Both kind of days were rough.  The difference though was how I felt at the end of each.  Worry and anxiety led to defeat. On a better day, I would "wake" up and realize I needed to change my focus. I would choose to change my thinking and make it a day of preparation. The days of prep work sometimes left me tired and drained.  Fatigue can lead to some tearful and emotional days.  In the end though, there was a hope and empowerment that things would get better.  This season would end.

I am grateful for all those hard moments and days.  Grateful for the time I took to process, to work through emotions.  Grateful for the preparation. Grateful for all the prayer support I requested.
Because...
The Monday of all Mondays came.

When the blank after Projected Outcome is left blank...

Earlier this year, found me in  a doctor's office.  Going through more tests.  More evaluations. Trying to not get my hopes up.  

Oh, the twists and turns which had brought me to that moment in that chair.  Listening to the medical providers explain test results.   In the process of explaining, they verbalized what I was experiencing and couldn't explain. They did it so beautifully. The relief that I felt.  The joy. The comfort. And oh the tears that flowed later.  To be known.  To be understood. To not have to explain.  Just a taste of what it is like with God, my Father.  He loves me, He understands. I don't have to have words.  He knows.  For a brief moment, while I sat in that chair, I experienced a comfort and peace in knowing He was leading and providing for me.

So when all the explaining was done, what to do about the problem needed to be talked about.  They had a plan.  There were things that could be done.  BUT..
But... I am pretty used to the word but...

But in my case they could offer no guarantees.  When a brain is injured and damaged, there are no guarantees.  The brain is a mystery.  Damaged parts stay damaged. New pathways have to be created.  How those pathways form or if they would form was a question no one could answer or predict.  They would be willing to work with me.  They had worked with a number of people who had suffered brain injuries and strokes. They were familiar with the struggles. They had experienced success stories.  They just couldn't offer a projected outcome.

He goes before Me, He is always with me, and He has my back PART 2

I had to have a sit down.  I had to breathe.  I had to thank God for His mighty protection and His peace.  I knew in my heart something bad had happened that day I smelled something "funny."  I recognized the "strange" and yet familiar sense of peace that enveloped me.  The same peace I experience 16 years ago as I lay in a hospital bed listening to doctors and medical staff begin the process of bringing my son into the world while trying to save both of our lives.  A peace beyond explanation but knowing He is there and with me and not going to leave me.

The fire that happened and put itself out because the blower in the dryer "broke" and moisture filled the inside of the dryer.  The stubborn tunnel vision of trying to get the dryer open to clean the lint out leading to the video that provided me the information that the dryer was broken and repairable (otherwise I might have just bought a new one...)  The fatigue that forced me to rest for a couple of days till I was prompted to call my friend.  The firm assurance by individuals that fixing was better than replacing. Trusting God and the counsel He was providing.  Repairs made, that led to other questions and "fatherly" concern and suggestions.   God was there in the midst of it all, directing my steps and questions and protecting us all the while.

Proud to be learning!

One of the greatest lessons taught in our homeschooling is learning is constant.
Sometimes I learned it once and never used it and then I get to re-learn so I can teach it.
Learning to teach is a whole new level of learning.

It happens in more subjects of life than just Algebra, History, English, Geometry and Science.

In the last year, I have learned a lot.
I decided to start taking an inventory of the lessons I have learned:

• to extend grace to myself.  A lesson I revisit a lot.
• being 'broken' is not all bad, God gets to shine more through all the cracks that exist.
• to function in my kitchen and home differently, so I can complete tasks more efficiently.
• to fix a toilet.
• how to unclog a sink.
• how to wipe a hard drive clean and reload it
• how to install a dishwasher.
• how to take my dryer apart.
• to establish boundaries and to more than survive the push back that happens.
• how to replace light bulbs for my car's headlights.

He goes before Me, He is always with me, and He has my back PART 1

Isaish 52:2

But you will not leave in haste or go in flight; for the LORD will go before you, the God of Israel will be your rear guard.

Psalm 23:4

Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.

Isaiah 43:2

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.

This week God has reaffirmed these words over and over to me and my children.  

Way back in 2003, I took advantage of an opportunity the local fire department was providing the community.  A firefighter came to my home, did fire safety education with my children.  Taught them what to do specifically if our home caught fire.  Then, he did a safety inspection.  The list was suprising.  Especially, considering one of my fears was not being able to get to my children in the event of fire because we have a split bedroom floorplan.  

It was disappointing when I shared the list and it wasn't received with the same concern I was experiencing.  To appease my concern, an effort was made to at least blow out the dryer exhaust/lint tube whenever I experienced longer dryer times for the laundry.  In case, anyone else is asking... yes, I clean the lint trap of my dryer regularly.  EVERY time the dryer is used.  Like I said a house fire has always been one of those fears that crop up in my heart.  I take the thoughts captive.  I pray.  I refuse to let it control me, instead I try to do what is needed to make my home safer.   

Almost 2 weeks ago, there was a strange smell as the kids and I did laundry.  Deep in my heart I thought it smelled slightly of smoke.  I just didn't want to alarm the kids.  I, also, just didn't want to go there.  Dreading the possibility of dryer needing to be replaced or costly repairs.  So my son and I moved the dryer and the vent was blown out as in the past. But nothing really came out and that was to be expected.  We had recently tried to blow it out.  I have known several women who have repaired their dryers on their own.  A friend recently shared with me, it never hurts to start a project and call for help if you find yourself in over your head.  The initial breakdown is done and it could save on labor (which could be a bonus).  So armed with You Tube, tools and optimsim I began the process of opening up the back of my dryer. 

Grateful for Medical Advancements and Technology

Had the most amazing experience today.  

Technology can be so amazing and helpful.  

One of my kiddos is a patient of Children's Mercy in Kansas City.
We have been blessed to not NEED to travel back and forth since his initial appointments.  We have been able to do lab work and follow ups via phone and just see his primary physician for appointments.
Several months back though during one of our routine phone follow-ups I was informed we need to have an actual in-office visit to preserve our status as active patient.  Otherwise, we would need to go through the whole inital new patient process.  UGH.  A 3+ hour drive one way.  A day of missed school and so forth...  Of course, this kiddo thought this was a great idea because after a long drive there is the usual attempt to do something fun.  When we were going back and forth certain fun spots were added to the day to reward good behavior and being a great trooper.  Life is different now and a little bit more complicated.
I was intrigrued when we were offered the opportunity to take part in their telehealth program.  To do so, would mean we would need to meet sooner than later.  Certain staffing changes were anticipated and they didn't have all their new plans in place.  Our appointment was scheduled for November and then they had even more changes and we were told we needed to move things up a month or risk needing to make the long drive.  Put it that way....we moved life all around.

And it was completely worth it.
It was the most amazing experience ever.
There was the occassional delay in audio transmission but other than that it went as smooth as an in person visit.  We had a nursing staff that did the routine check in process.  Our medical provider was even able to listen to my kiddo's heart.  She wore special headphones and her support person on our end, moved the stethescope around as needed as she listened to heart and lungs.  Then there was a really cool camera used for looking into his mouth, etc.  Paperwork I brought with us, was quickly shared and available to the doctor on the other end.  To say the least I was just in awe of how far technology comes.  I can imagine how much this service could be used to help so many people world wide.  It was amazing.
Since that initial phone call, a lot of things have been arranged.  Things are falling into place for this service to continue to be provided.
Ever so grateful is this momma for the updates and advances to technology that is available.

Science Experiments & Rose Cuttings that Grow Reassurance and Hope

Our latest science experiment.  My 6th grader has an experiment this month. To take a cutting and put in water to grow roots...  The suggested plant cutting was from a rose bush.  I had been curious in the past how rose bushes came to be because I knew they were not planted from seed.  I had seen educational type shows about grafting and growing a new "breed" of rose.  So I did some research online about it and sure enough the suggestion was to vut about 6 inches from an existing rose bush and plant....

Of course, that peaked my interest and I couldn't just follow the directions given in the science experiment!  My imagination and interest peeked we headed for the garage.  Which of course led to a bit of "minor" cleaning considering it is a garage and all... found a bag of potting soil, flower pots bought for another project never done, and we went to town.  In the bottom left corner, one "stick" has yellow yarn.  The only cutting from our transplanted/moved yellow bush.  The rest are all from one red rose bush.  

This particular project took me down memory lane.  Caused some thinking...

The bedroom shuffle

Life, it happens.  Kids grow up...  Household dynamics change.  The bedroom shuffle happens.
There were 5 under one roof and now there are 4.  One gets a room of his own again, finally! And another gets a room of his own for the first time ever.
But first, rooms have to get dumped, and walls painted...because she wants something different than this blue;

and he wants something different than pink and swirls...

With the possibility of a move in the not so distant future, we have to think about how many times we want to paint.  So after a week of various paint samples taped to walls they chose their favorite white!  (There are a lot of whites out there and some don't look too white-like in various light.)  

My favorite photos...

When all was mostly done and tape was removed there was a little bit of touch up that needed to be done.  The teens got out the little paint brushes.  I couldn't help but think how awful it would have been to paint the two rooms with such a little brush.  The giggles happened.  Things are yet to still be finished.  This has been a two month process.  Purging, emptying and moving.  One more room to still paint. It is amazing how much can be unearthed and decluttered when the bedroom shuffle happens! It definitely would have been better timed in the summer.  Squeezing in between school and our crazy schedule has been a challenge.  Hopefully, we can take some "after" pictures soon.  

It is the little things that make my kiddos smile! It is the big things that make my heart soar!

This came in the mail today.

My kids love snack bars.  The athletes and health nutty ones really like it if they are "protein" bars.
So this arrived today.
The question was who gets it???
So the label was read and it was "happy tummy!"  No peanut/nut contamination.  I offered it up to all to split and try together.  My allergy one, oh so (wisely) declined.  Mom, they make nutty/peanutty versions.  The facility it came from just might not be safe.  True...but it has to be on the label...  Then I told him he was wise and correct in questioning the possibility of possible cross contamination.  And he was right to decline if he was concerned and didn't want to take the chance.
My heart just soared.  At first it was jumping and skipping because the oohs, ahhs and getting to see the smiles.  But then witnessing a maturity in my youngest as he is growing up and learning to take responsibility for his health and able to make decisions/sacrifices based on the big picture.  He didn't pout.  He didn't get upset.  He just recognized the risk and determined whether it was worth the risk and made a choice he was vey happy and content with...   That is hard to do, even as a grown up.  Just so proud. My heart couldn't help but swell up and soar because I know how much he normally feels left out by the protein snack bar world.. so many are nutty and/or peanutty.  Today, it just didn't matter.  Contentment.

In the event, you are wondering how this little bit of freebie heaven found its way into our mailbox, I am signed up with Sample Storm  Free to join.  Freebies are offered.  Just click and sign up for the ones you want.  I opt out of a lot of the extra emails.  I don't seem to get flooded with too much extra email as a result.  The packages we get periodically are super fun suprises to find in the mailboxes!  Free kitty food, personal "girly" products, lotions, toothpaste, paper products, magazines, and makeup are just some of the goodies we get.  There is a referral program, points are earned for referring people who sign up.  I have yet to redeem any points. I have primarily focused on signing up for the free sample offers.
Let me know if you sign up and enjoy the mailbox suprises!

Change

Life changes, and thus a 

New vocabulary. 

Limitations. 

Disability. 

Deficits. 

Aphasia.  

Breathe.

Pacing. 

Margin.

Resting.

Balance.

Acceptance.

Perseverance.

Boundaries

Stopping

Enough

Reduce

Think

Grace

Patience

Kindness

Gentleness

Compassion

Understanding

With changes in life...come other changes.  Sometimes a change in perspective is required.  Other times it is a change in vocabulary.  Or even changes in thought patterns is necessary.  Change is constant.  Change is always good... if you are willing to allow it to grow you and make you a better person.  Change is NOT always easy, or pleasant, or welcome....  But it is a constant... How we embrace it can determine if we are to become bitter or better.  Great thing about change, it is always changing... so can we.  We can start down one path and at anytime recognize we need to make a change... 

Eve... chosen, blessed and loved by God

I am really enjoying IF:Equip and the Bible selections that are studied and shared with so many women world wide.   What I enjoy so much about If is each day a passage of Scripture is selected.  There isn't a study guide.  Each person is invited to share in the blog's comments.  Comments range from questions trying to understand more fully to humble convictions pressed upon their heart by God or inspired words of insight.  It has been a beautiful thing to be reading the same portion of God's word with so many women world wide and read how it is impacting each person individually and growing them. There is a sense of community felt with these women although I have never met a single one of them.
Currently, the study is on women of the Bible.  This was the first week and of course, it started with Eve.  Today's study, left me quietly smiling and feeling very refreshed. This week, I have been blessed by the fresh perspectives being shared about Eve.  So often in my life, Eve is the cursed one.  The one who brought sin into the world.  She is remembered for all that she has done wrong.  This week there has been a thread of redemption being shared about Eve and it has been beautiful to "listen" in on these sharings.  Eve made a decision and it cost her much.  So very, very much.  While there were consequences, the ones so many can recite by memory, there is a thread of love and compassion right there in Genesis that seems to be so quickly read over and is unnoticed.  Eve still experienced the presence of God in her life afterwards.  There were consequences. Yet, God after declaring what would happen, stopped and took time to make coverings for Adam and Eve.  A lesson, maybe, for how to in the future.  Afterall, it isn't like they needed to before and this was something new for them.  Later, when she gives birth, she acknowledges God's provision in the form of Cain.  Even later, when Seth is born she acknowledges the gift God has given her in light of the loss she had experienced in losing Abel.  She made a mistake, yes.  But her mistake didn't alienate her from God.  It didn't define her.  Her relationship with God changed.  Most relationships change, often it takes something bad, to fully appreciate the good.  The bad gives us a reference point to understand why good is good.  It was the first of many mistakes, the first of many sins in a story of humanity that would lead us to Jesus.  Today, I am grateful for the women, who were able to see past Eve's mistake and see her as God saw her....a woman, loved and created by God, chosen, and blessed to be the first to experience God's love, forgiveness and promise for the future.  Blessed to hear Eve not "cursed" by her "daughters" for a mistake, but grace and understanding that sometimes choices are made and the future is affected, but there is a God that loves us so much, He provides redemeption and healing and restoration.

The Earth Shook Today!

The last couple of weeks we have had head colds and allergies. Last year I made an announcement to the kids, on any given day that they did not leave the house, they could declare it pj day for themselves.  Of course, double checking with me to make sure there wasn't anything planned and not mentioned.  It is a rare day that I never have to leave my home.  A day nothing is planned.  If there isn't anything planned, well that is the day shopping will sometimes (most likely) get delegated to... Today, I woke up tired.  Tired to my bones.  I took my shower and just wasn't revived, my bed unmade just kept whispering my name.
While brushing my teeth I looked at my calendar.  Nothing.  Nothing at all.  Not one reason to leave my house!  PJ day!  I felt the stress of getting ready for the day lift off my shoulders.  The suprising and best part... my youngest girl was ecstatic for me.  She told me to Go for it!  Her encouragement meant the world to me.  Kids started school and I grabbed my Bible and drink and took this picture sitting next to my diffuser.

Sniffling and snuffling, I read.  My head was pounding because this morning I wasn't bouncing out of the morning stuffiness that comes with head colds and allergies.  

I just kept counting my blessings that I could have a PJ day.  I felt deliriously like a lady of leisure.  An amazing indulgence that was for the moment better than chocolate. 

Then I did something else.  The timer dinged and it was break time.  I declared a hour break.  An hour to play a game.  We arranged ourselves around the table, with 2 of us sitting in the sun's rays because sunshine beating on our heads and backs always seems to relieve congestion.  We played.  Snacked.  Laughed.  The timer dinged and it was back to work.  So much work was accomplished before lunch as a result.  

When I made my announcement the kids just looked at me.  They knew better to argue... cause I was offering FUN!  But I asked them, did you feel that?  Did you smell that?? More looks.  I think the earth shook, I think the volcanoes are erupting and there might be some hail... My oldest caught on quick and said she's saying the earth might be ending... 

Their mother just doesn't do things like this.  I looked at them and said, for a long time your mother didn't do things like this.  She was super responsible.  But NOW things are different.  Now Mom has some freedom to say, for one hour we will play.  Yes, we will still have the work to do, but it will get done.  We know what we are trading time for and what will need to be done.  We will get it done.  Smiles... 

My heart soars.  

Laughter...

Days like this, school like this... incredibly blessed today.  

Smile Makers this week

Smile makers this week!

Freebie Tea in the mail for my tea lovers...

Oh all the places to choose for curling up to take a nap!?!  This kitty does like soft beds but I often find him on hard wooden chairs and stools and apparently he likes boxes too.

108 days till Christmas!!

Yep!  I am already thinking about Christmas.
108 days, just over 3 months. That isn't very many paydays between now and then!
Between now and then we also have 2 kid birthdays and who knows how many "extra" birthdays...

Sticking to a budget and keeping things affordable sometimes means anticipating the future.
There are a whole lot of great deals happening these days.

So these are some things that are happening and I am considering in anticipation of Christmas.

This past weekend, our local grocery store, Dillons was offering quadruple fuel points on gift cards.
This can be a huge savings.  If your gift card purchase is $250, that is equal to 1,000 fuel points and that translates to $1.00 off a gallon of gas up to 35 gallons.  A savings of $35.  (Or think of it as some "free" Christmas presents bought!)

This isn't a great deal if you have to charge your gift cards to a credit card and pay interest.
However,  if you have some wiggle room in the budget and can stock up on some gift cards for future purchases it was a great time to do so.  Whenever, Dillons offer quadruple points I evaluate our calendar.  Birthdays that are coming up, crazy schedules that may require eating out, Christmas, etc.  If there is nothing in these categories, I just evaluate where I will be shopping for normal everyday stuff.  If I am going to spend the money, anyhow, it doesn't matter if it is cash, debit card or gift card and I might as well maximize the buying power of my dollar.

There are Kohl's cash events, Old Navy Super Cash events and countless other rewards and savings opportunities.  An app called Find and Save is offering all sorts of cash back opportunities that match up with some of these sale events.  To redeem some of these offers is as simple as just taking a picture of your receipt with your phone and submitting!  It is quickly becoming ONE of my favorite apps to use for in-store shopping! While there is always a sale happening, some happen to be better deals at certain times of the year. I love to layer the savings with in-store deals, coupons, rebates and gift cards/fuel points.  

So I have been challenging my kids to think ahead.  I have asked them to not share with me the things they kinda like, but the things that they "love."  Share with me the things that make each of them smile.  Point out needs.  Let me know which wants would truly be a blessing and bring a smile to your face and heart and get used.  So we have been hitting the stores a little bit more.  Collecting ideas.  Smart phones are great for taking pictures of items with prices for future reference.  Or taking "notes" on the app provided.  I have been utitilizing rewards and rebates to put aside what I can as I am able.

Something I figured out years ago, is this is the perfect time to start collecting various snacks and treats for stockings.  Gum and candy sales, hair accessories, art supplies.  Between coupons, back to school and the start of Halloween candy deals/coupons lots of these items can be tucked away for a much lower cost.

Unfortunately, I can't share all my great finds... my kids KNOW about this blog and well, I think they would ruin some of their suprises.  Sometimes, especially the teenagers, they already know I have put something aside because they picked it out.  Other times, I am able to score the deal without them ever knowing!!  And that is just whip cream and a cherry on the top knowing how suprised they will be!

What are some of the ways you save and anticipate for Christmas and other special occassions?

Sometimes it pays to shop around! Vitacost and Top Cash Back !

I try to stay on top of things a bit better than I did this time.  

One of the supplements in our home is running out this week! 

Not the best plan.  

The "local" store I would usually shop at is 30 minutes away.  No plans to be in 'the neighborhood' this week.  So last night I went online.  More often than not, I order these supplements because I just can't beat the price locally.  

Timing and special offers at Vitacost seem to make this a pretty good deal.  

However, because it involves shipping... it requires forward thinking and doing.  

Something I failed this week on... but I am hoping and prayerful that I will be able to stretch what we have till they arrive. 

Vitacost has some really good prices.  

Just saying. 

They also have a referral program.  

When you refer someone and they make a purchase you can earn $10.  Program details are here.

Seriously $10 towards a future purchase.  Who would not like that deal!  

Since I last ordered from Vitacost, I have joined another online shopping rebate site.  So before I jumped into shopping, I pulled up all the sites that I use for shopping rewards and chose the one that offered the best cash back offer.  This is where "shopping around" pays off, because Top Cash Back was more than doubling the other offers!  It only took a few extra moments to look at all the offers, but the "payoff" is worth it.  

Plus, if you sign up with (if you haven't already) Top Cash Back you can earn 8% back when you use their site to click through to Vitacost.  

Great Prices, Great Rebates. 

What makes me smile even bigger..is when I assessed our supplement issue, I realized it was prudent to check on the pricing and possible order ahead on a few more things.  I didn't need to spend much more to reach the minimum for free shipping, $49.  This time, there were a few more things we were going to run out of sooner than  later and I had enough wiggle room in my budget that I decided to go ahead and order.  Once done, my total was $52.06, just over the minimum.  

I have learned to always do a quick search through the rebate site I am using and online for additional promos being offered.  

Sure enough, there was a promo code for $5 off a $55 purchase.  I really didn't want to spend more money.  However, If I could find anything for $2.94, I would essentially save myself $2.06 and end up with some "freebies."  So I headed on over to their snack lists.  

And I discovered if I ordered a combination of 5 of these yummy snacks at $0.59 each, I would add $2.95 to my cart.  And they would be free!  And I would save $2.06 on our supplements!  

My final total, $50.01

What I am learning!! Fish Fry!!

My youngest daughter, who isn't all that little anymore. She is 14, sniff, sniff...

For her birthday, she wanted fish.  This summer she discovered she liked fish.  The real kind.  Not the fish that comes in a stick in a box in the freezer section.  I bought some on sale tilapia one day and fixed it for dinner and she just about fell out of her seat because she liked it so much.  She was only eating it because she was hungry and it was dinner... So she was astounded that she liked fish.

We have been fishing this summer, and we weren't sure if there would be enough so we supplemented from the grocery store...   Catfish, Tilapia and whatever else we had caught.
I pulled out the cookbook, found a breading recipe and jumped in with both feet.
I didn't stop there, but I determined I would learn how to make hush puppies.

It was a success!  I didn't burn anything.  Hush Puppies were gobbled up.  I received a generous compliment from the Grandpa regarding Hush Puppies.  I wasn't expecting much my first time round.  I had never filled a pot with oil before and fried anything.  So my biggest concern is I would ruin dinner and eating out would be the story.  

If only, you knew the struggles I have had with cooking over the last year.  This was a feather in my hat success.  I even cooked some potatoes wedges and onion rings/slices for my girl.  The kids were astounded...real french fries!  

3 hours later... everyone was full, happy and ready to lounge...  

Success and Happiness all around. 

(pictures courtesy of my daughter... I was too busy cooking and they were eating it as soon as it was being set on the plate)

Avengers..Build and Grow at Lowes

He did it!  We did it!  All 6...
It started with just checking out the website.. There was so much enjoyment...and then the discovery that it was the theme for the summer. The 2 of us every couple of weeks...headed to Lowes.
So proud of all the efforts of my youngest young man.  He learned much and did a great job!

God is a gentleman

So I am reworking this post...
Cause that is what happens sometimes after I post and then I am taking my morning shower.
I get so much chat time with God and thinking done in the shower....

This past fall I kept hearing the same sentence over and over.. God is a gentleman.
I started thinking on it.  I had never thought of God as a Gentleman.  If God is a Gentleman... what does that look like?  Cause He isn't opening the car door for me.. He opens doors, but not the ones that are physical and attached to a building or a car.
So into my journey of examining God's character and what makes God a Gentleman.

Rewind several years, well maybe 16 or 17 years...
In parenting, I became intentional.  I longed to be able to teach my kids "rules" of life NOT because "I said so, but because God said so". I wanted to be able to direct them to His Word, to Him.

I discovered this company, Doorposts and their tools became invaluable.  You see I have this memory:

When I was a teenager, during one of the years my family never walked into a church, I picked up my Bible and started reading.  I was shocked and astounded.  Right there between the pages of Genesis and Revelations were instructions on how to behave. It was one of those years where law and the Constitution was being studied.  I had just no idea that the Bible was where it first happened.  I just thought all these rules of childhood were something parents created.  This discovery started a longing in my heart to know God's Word better.  

A few years into parenting, I wanted my children to know the principles we live by were created by God for our good.  Not for some selfish parental/adult reason to make life better.  

Now back in the present... I have been on a discovery journey of God's character.  Knowing who He is, but not being able to support it.  If God is a gentleman, then what does this look like.  I had read my Bible through one lens... what is it that I am suppose to be learning?  Now I started reading it through another lens, what does this say about God, His Character and The Kind of God He is?  This past year though, as I study His Word, I will come across a glorious and beautiful truth and then He will follow up that truth with this whisper to my heart..."This is another example of my character, of who I am and who I desire you to be."  It is easy to list of examples of good character. But that isn't enough for me.. I want to know where it is in Scripture. and He is showing me.  On this day, this verse jumped out at me as I worked through my Bible study book, Breathe:

And I started writing in my book.  

God waited.

Patiently waited 

6 days, 

He waited for the seventh day. 

He had an appointment, the Sabbath.  

He waited. 

He let them tend to life. 

But the time came and He called Moses.  

God was always there.  Present.  But not greedy of time and demanding more time.

Not selfish or self seeking wanting more time 

He was willing to wait.

He instructs us to seek Him.  To pray in all things.  To keep Him Lord and worship nothing else.  He is balanced and selfish and selfless. He calls us to work.  He calls us to rest.  He knows that as humans there are things we must tend.  We must eat.  We must care for others.  If He gives us these instructions, He recognizes it means our attention will inevitably be diverted from Him. He doesn't get jealous or demanding or impatient.  He awaits for the time He set aside for us to be with Him fully focused, Sabbath.  He doesn't even force us to show up to the appointment... free will... 

Feeling blessed that as I learn and grow in other areas, He doesn't forget this desire of mine to have Biblical evidence of His character.  He just keeps whispering to my heart..

Sara Lee Manager's Special... Blessing my kids just feels so Amazingly Good.. Great Price while supplies last!

Feeling, oh so blessed!  

We were out of bread and lunch was coming up.  

So after I dropped my son off at work I stopped here: 

I discovered: Bagels for $1.00

and Raisin Bread for $1

I couldn't help but stock up the freezer.  Going to the store can be a chore.
But I have kids that love Bagels.
They even had Blueberry.
I have a kid that loves Blueberry anything.  

The bakery prices always beat the grocery store prices. 

But this was amazing!  

Feeling blessed that I can bless my children with something they love

for breakfast and snacks! 

What big claws/nails you have!

Thanks to Art for Kids Hub... My guy discovered Origami yesterday!  Here is where he learned to make these:  

He was so excited about Origami, I told him we had a book and Origami paper somewhere.... 

Found it!  

He has been hard at work and using the book along with the paper!  

We have had this on our bookshelves for years.  Maybe even 13 years.
It is from our Five in A Row  years... 

I am just tickled it is getting loved and used thoroughly all these years later. 

I destroyed our fairy forest!

This morning I discovered the little bitty "caps" of white had grown!  

I know enough about fungi to know they grow because of rain, temperatures and soil condition.  

I don't know what these are specifically, I just knew they needed to go!  

Some were larger than my hands and my feet!  

I could not help but imagine I was destroying a fairy town or community! 

It was the easiest "gardening" work I have done in a while.  

Dinner adventures

Just Can't Reveal Names here.  

But there are people in this home that have a thing about food.  They LOVE it.  It is a critically important aspect of their life.  To get specific, meat is especially important.  So right on top of that list is STEAK.  

So when presented with a steak option for dinner, the best way to cook it around here is unanimously on the grill.  I have been relearning a lot around here this past year. 

One of the things, noone is to quick to "allow" me to learn is to grill.  

Grilling requires "babysitting"  and "attention"

My ability to stay focused is somewhat challenged,
 since the accident and the cooking adventures I have experienced,
while comical, have left my children protective of the grill.
 
The risk of my getting distracted and burning something is great.  

So our resident "STEAK" lover, (worship-er) volunteered to grill.  

Unfortunately, the cook, had not grilled steak before.  A 5 minute break was taken to run inside.

Been Creative? Art for Kids Hub

Last year or the year before, this poster idea was floating around on facebook.  I have some really awesome friends that peruse pinterest and then they share the gems!  I am truly grateful for their efforts.

Last summer I duplicated this for my home!

This year, I borrowed the concept and "assigned" specific elements as part of daily chores.  The rule was do not ask me for anything or to go anywhere until these 12 things are done each day!  Each child's list looked a little different depending on age. The goal was to carve out about 3 hours for myself.  They could self direct and I could work somewhat uninterrupted.  For "Be Creative" I found on Money Saving Money a free calendar link for art for June.  Sent the link to my daughter to help direct her brothers.  She likes all sorts of things artsy!  Again my goal was to be able to work uninterrupted for a few hours.

Laughing with Aphasia

Laughing at/with myself.
I have minor aphasia issues related to a brain injury from a car accident 2.5 years ago.
This past year has been a journey of learning about deficits, impairments and acceptance.  Acceptance being the hardest part.
 
However, there are times you can choose to cry or laugh.  Today has been a long day.  Good but long.  I was visiting with my daughter and I was trying to tell her to hold that thought, I needed to go to the:
"Bladder Room"
aka the Bathroom

I can think the word and the wrong thing comes out and sometimes I just can't thing of the word and the next best thing gets said!  Oh my Goodness... I said "Bladder Room."  I knew it wasn't correct but I just couldn't for the life of me think of the room.

So I followed up with, "that isn't the right word, but I can't  figure it out"  Chuckles..  So the kids start listing off alternatives:  Bathroom, Powder Room, Restroom, Potty, the Loo, the Little Boys Room, the Little Girls Room...

I am so glad they can laugh with me.

So then I asked them to remember some of my other funny "sayings."

Chocolate Spray Paint ~ Chalk board Spray Paint  (mis-heard and repeated)

"The Boy"  "The Girl" ~ When I can't remember names or just literally can't make my mouth work to say the names... Sometimes followed up with hand motions to indicate size.

The "BOX"  ~ microwave

Sometimes I have to describe things like the refrigerator.  "The cold thing....box"

I once wanted a Pepsi and couldn't say anything, all I could do is make a slurp sound with my lips.. I need a **slurp slurp sound.**  That resulted in a 30 thing guessing game.  Straw, water, cup, and on and on...

It can be frustrating, but it can be completely hysterical.  Sometimes, it is best to laugh.

5 Down, One to Go ~ Lowes Build and Grow

This summer, my youngest and I have taken on the challenge of completing the Avenger Series at Lowes Build and Grow.  I posted earlier in the summer here.

We just completed the 5th session out of 6 being offered.  We missed session 4, because I did not log in soon enough.  We were extremely blessed though when we showed up this past weekend and learned they had a bunch of extra kits.  I don't even know how the conversation.  It just happened.  God knows, becuase I believe he cares about this guy.  He cares about his interests and likes.  So on week 5, we were able to build project number 4 and 5.  He is doing great!  He is learning a lot of valuable "life skills" in problem solving and working through a challenge.

My Amazon box came!

Thanks to Swagbucks I was able to order these two books, plus a stocking stuffer last week for nothing out of pocket! (I, also, ordered a copy of Breathe for a friend. In case you do the math and wonder how I managed to get free shipping.) Woohoo.

Filling an hour...

In July, there was no more Wednesday night activities at church.  Just for the month.  Each Wednesday it rained.  The day cooled off.  I know this not because I chart the weather.  But each Wednesday as the temps dropped, we headed to the lake to fish with my dad.  He just can't be out in the heat.  He is on oxygen and hot temperatures make it extremely difficult to breathe, even on oxygen.  The church schedule has resumed and the rain and/or cooler temperatures continue on Wednesdasy.  It has left me in the quandry.  Attend church and build relationships with others, which is much needed or spend time with Grandpa at the lake.  

Grandpa had other plans tenatively.  So we went to church.  Afterwards, I just wanted to be outside.  To just be away.  So I asked the kids, would an hour be enough.  Could you be satisfied with an hour, fish or no fish... ?  It was unanimous.  Grandpa isn't a go for an hour kind of fisherman.  We called him up and told him the plan.  He hesitated and then responded with, "Oh, why not?"  
I started the timer, but then was told it wasn't fair... start the timer once the lines are ready.  I laughed and said, if I delayed there would be incredible dilly dallying... more laughter. But I did stop the timer.  Silly me. Because I forgot to start when this girl had the
first line in...